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Member Since 2006

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Friday Nov 17, 2006

Nov 17, 2006
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I think life is full of crossroads.

I'm behind on construction of the new site I'm working on, and I could easily not finish it and work in my job for the next 40 years, and then retire. Hell by the time you're 30, 35, you're thinking about starting a family and wanting a steady income and not chasing those dreams of when you were younger... (Read: You lose your nerve).

So I could totally just hang in there for the next few years and do nothing. But if I finish my site, I could make enough money to be self employed, easily.

I'm so close to both outcomes I could touch them. And it's actually quite scary. I think psychologically I'm a little scared to make my site a success. I find I can't seem to get motivated. The idea of coding it scares me a little. I think I'm a bit worried deep down if I'll be able to handle the success when it comes. But I know I'll kick myself the rest of my life if I don't grab this while I have the chance.

I'm going to take next week, and create a really detailed project plan, allocating double time for all work to be done, and try really hard to stick to it. If I can just put away one bit of work at a time, I'm sure I can launch something by March. If I was doing this as a project at work, I know I could close it in a month, no problems.

I need some millionaire to tell me they believe in me, and give me 30k to stay at home for a year, and just work on my company. That'd really get me started :p Failing that, I'll just have to grit my teeth and work in the evenings as usual.

Oh I got my bank account by the way, the company one. It's nice having an official account for the company. I paid one of my colo suppliers recently with "The company card" (sounds impressive, huh?) and it should make doing the books at the end of the year a bit easier. It's nice being a business customer. I called the helpline the other day, and as I dialled the number I reached out to get something, knowing I'd be put into a switchboard, and I'd have to press 1, 3, 7, 9, 4 and 2 to get to an operator etc, etc, but then this voice was calling, hello? out of the phone.

Turns out if you're a business cusotmer you get connected straight to a person. Immediately. No waiting, no ringing for ages, just like a bullet, straight through. And speaking to this woman was so cool. It was like she was scared of me. She was so nice, and she said things like "Is there ANYTHING else I can do for you". I felt like it was my first day as Emperor. I think I'm going to like this business banking stuff...

I wish I had someone to help me stay motivated, and keep the work going. But that's the probem with being your own boss. Have to be so self motivated...

I'm taking a week off work after my birthday, so the week from the 4th Dec I'll be at home. I plan to get up the same time as I would for work, and put in five nine hour days working for the company. The site I'm building is not that complex, it's just that I have maybe an hour or two a day after work to give it, if I can be bothered. You have no idea how badly I want to hit that target, get my site running, and be free from commuting and working to make some guy rich. That week off, I'll do ten hours a day. Whatever it takes.

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