tygerblade

Mourning Lost Moments

I've been a bog of selfishness and self-pity lately. I apologize. The time has come for me to stop, because the people I love have greater pain than I, and they need me. So I put aside my own grief, and I will be there for them.

I have always dwelt in my own personal darkness, fumbling around in a fog of regrets. But because it is where I live and breathe, I have developed the skills necessary to help and guide others, when they happen to fall into the darkness with me. I've never quite been able to find my own way out, perhaps because I never learned how to live anywhere else. I don't know how. But like a gunfighter in the old west, I wander in the wastelands alone and miserable, until someone in need requires the services of my guns. Not that I kill bad guys or anything. But I guess I've done a few heroic deeds in my time, if you want to call it that. I have managed to help people who were lost find their path again, and hopefully it made a difference in their lives. I'm not really a hero though. I prefer to call it "seeking redemption." If I have any purpose in life at all, it's to keep others from falling as far as I have. When I manage to help others, then for a few moments I am no longer alone. But eventually the lonliness must always return. Because I'm not saving anybody if I try to keep them in the darkness with me.

And now I feel like wandering off into the sunset, mouthing a tune underneath my breath:

I'll be yours until the sun doesn't shine
Till time stands still
until the winds don't blow
When today is just a memory to me
I know.....
I'll still be loving
I'll still be loving
You
I'll still be loving you