Lethal Emotions
Ive devoted most of my life to figuring out this thing they call love. What is it? Where can you get it? Can it be plotted on a graph? Is it catching, like the flu? It certainly has some nasty symptoms. First it makes you feverish, upsets your stomach, causes your heart to beat irregularly and destroys your ability to think. You start exhibiting obsessive behavior, manic depression, and an inability to speak anything but gibberish. Your entire being is filled with an unnatural euphoria, and when that crashes, youre often left crying in a dark corner, feeling too weak to stand, bruised in unnatural places, and craving chocolate. It can take years to recover from these bouts, and the first bout is always the worst. Eventually you may develop a limited immunity to it, but its never quite good enough. Even dirty old hermits who hide away in dark caverns for forty years can be swept away into the folds of this horrid disease, just from the whiff of perfume from a passing female hiker. And there is no known cure
And should there be? Love can be the most fulfilling experience in the universe, according to poets. And thats why poets make the big bucks, lead fulfilling, happy lives honored above all others in society, including kings, presidents and CEOs, right? And I cant deny feeling that way myself, even with my own list of past emotional disasters. Perhaps love is more like a drug addiction that a disease. Similar to heroin in style, but with all the benefits of crack. And we are all jonesing for our next high
So yes, I do crave love in my life. But Im also not actively pursuing it at the moment, and Im sort of proud of that. Like an alcoholic at an AA meeting, Ive been sober for well over a year now. But Im also in that dangerous cocky stage, where I want to wander in and out of bars just to prove that I wont go home with any of the women. And all it might take is the attentions of one beautiful, intelligent female for me to fall off the wagon, so to speak. But is that such a bad thing? Perhaps love is more like an eating disorder. Overeating is unhealthy, but starving yourself will kill you even quicker. Dying alone and childless is not exactly the best life goal for me, is it? Balance is the important thing. I need to live my life. Flirt with the women, but dont fall for them, at least not immediately. Fall for them, but dont date them. Date them, but dont marry them. Or perhaps do all these things, but the fun part is resisting for as long as possible, and exploring all the possibilities along the way. The healthy part is choosing the right one to fall for. And not screwing it up once you do find that certain someone, of course. How many people in this world do find that right someone, but never recognize it until the damage is already done?
Love is like a red, red roseyeah, right. The combination of beauty, sweetness and thorns I get, but unless youve clenched the stem in your hand until blood spills down your wrist, theres really no comparison. Its just a silly, overpriced flower, after all. But most women see it differently, so its always good to send them a few now and then. Particularly when they least expect it
Ive devoted most of my life to figuring out this thing they call love. What is it? Where can you get it? Can it be plotted on a graph? Is it catching, like the flu? It certainly has some nasty symptoms. First it makes you feverish, upsets your stomach, causes your heart to beat irregularly and destroys your ability to think. You start exhibiting obsessive behavior, manic depression, and an inability to speak anything but gibberish. Your entire being is filled with an unnatural euphoria, and when that crashes, youre often left crying in a dark corner, feeling too weak to stand, bruised in unnatural places, and craving chocolate. It can take years to recover from these bouts, and the first bout is always the worst. Eventually you may develop a limited immunity to it, but its never quite good enough. Even dirty old hermits who hide away in dark caverns for forty years can be swept away into the folds of this horrid disease, just from the whiff of perfume from a passing female hiker. And there is no known cure
And should there be? Love can be the most fulfilling experience in the universe, according to poets. And thats why poets make the big bucks, lead fulfilling, happy lives honored above all others in society, including kings, presidents and CEOs, right? And I cant deny feeling that way myself, even with my own list of past emotional disasters. Perhaps love is more like a drug addiction that a disease. Similar to heroin in style, but with all the benefits of crack. And we are all jonesing for our next high
So yes, I do crave love in my life. But Im also not actively pursuing it at the moment, and Im sort of proud of that. Like an alcoholic at an AA meeting, Ive been sober for well over a year now. But Im also in that dangerous cocky stage, where I want to wander in and out of bars just to prove that I wont go home with any of the women. And all it might take is the attentions of one beautiful, intelligent female for me to fall off the wagon, so to speak. But is that such a bad thing? Perhaps love is more like an eating disorder. Overeating is unhealthy, but starving yourself will kill you even quicker. Dying alone and childless is not exactly the best life goal for me, is it? Balance is the important thing. I need to live my life. Flirt with the women, but dont fall for them, at least not immediately. Fall for them, but dont date them. Date them, but dont marry them. Or perhaps do all these things, but the fun part is resisting for as long as possible, and exploring all the possibilities along the way. The healthy part is choosing the right one to fall for. And not screwing it up once you do find that certain someone, of course. How many people in this world do find that right someone, but never recognize it until the damage is already done?
Love is like a red, red roseyeah, right. The combination of beauty, sweetness and thorns I get, but unless youve clenched the stem in your hand until blood spills down your wrist, theres really no comparison. Its just a silly, overpriced flower, after all. But most women see it differently, so its always good to send them a few now and then. Particularly when they least expect it