two_d

i'm not sure how to start

i wish it would stop hurting i know it will after time but i wish it would hurry up i don't want to feel this way anymore i've felt it too much.

i've took more bar shifts to try to keep myself busy so i don't have to think about it. the worst thing is to tell people what happened that don't know. i can see why people drink themselves to death to deal with there problems. it's easier then dealing with them. but i can't do that it would feel like i'd be betraying him. my grandmother told me once when my grandfather died that how bad i was hurting was how much i loved him. and i can't stop thinking about that.

i changed my profile pic cause it reminds me of Brian (my friend) he used to love that stupid peanut butter jelly time song. and when i saw Brian on family guy sing it made me laugh and cry at the same time.

i'd like to thank everyone for thoughts. you don't know how much it means to me. thanks for caring, the world need more of it. later