twistedview

So I've been camped out at my grandfather's place these past 3 days. He's been battling cancer for 2 years and has gone through some really hard shit. It had all gone away and when they looked all over they found it had come back in his liver. 4-6 months to live and he was too weak to do treatments. He said he wanted to live it out and not go through any more tough pain. All of a sudden on Sunday night he crashed and the docs said 4-6 days now. His body just shut down and he couldn't really talk. I went over as soon as I heard on Monday morning and his eyes got really big when he saw me so I know he knew who I was and was happy I was there. After a few seconds, his eyes shut and didn't open again. For 3 days he just layed there getting shorter and shorter breaths until 8:45 tonight when he gave a half smile and stopped. I don't know how I stayed there with him for those last three days... It was really tough to see a guy who always worked out and stayed in excelent physical condition lay there like that. It makes me wonder about a lot of things as this is the first peron I've had die in my family that I was somewhat close to. My family is not close emotionally except between me and my mom and somewhat with my dad. But I have so many good memories of him and did love being around him even if I didn't show it at the time. I wish I hadn't been so distant. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it. What's done is done and I'm glad he knew that I was there for him in the end. I'll miss you.