twistedkittenfur

So I suppose if I keep putting myself in bad enough positions that eventually I'll just die right? It's not that I'm particularly unhappy. I just don't trust happy. Feeling this good is always associated with a hurt like no other. And I stand by my logic that if the low isn't worth the high then why bother. because I'm determined to be lonely and push anything that I care about away. I'm frightened and I don't know who to turn to. I'm the only one to blame for this feeling of fear.....at this point I just wanna go home and act like a child and pull the covers over my head.....I suppose I don't even really have anyone to apologize to but I still feel like putting it out there..oh god i"m sorry...but once again I'm upset today. I'm just lying in anticipation of heartbreak again....