So I did the thing that makes me feel like a total alcoholic, I ranted at innocent ppl and well I was pretty much belligerent. I'm about 50% sure I took my friends virginity which I love him like a brother that's not were i was wanting to take the relationship, I don't even know how it happened i just know after it happened i just wanted to go home and shower and shower hard, I feel sorta sick. I knew he had these feelings for me, but I trusted myself not to drink to much and I trusted the situation not to present itself. I guess if it had been anyone else it wouldn't have been so bad but now I feel guilty for not wanting to date him, and like a whore because that's not how I like to behave. I guess it did it because I'm not used to being single, its the first time I've been truly 100% single in about 5 years. uh I just feel sick and sad and I just wish I had someone to cuddle me and say it's okay. I don't feel okay.
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