twiggy

hello. i am sick of flat hunting. i have moved back to the west coast for the summer and fear i will miss edinburgh terribly. i like going on long wanders down the royal mile and the grassmarkets. i like when it is misty cold and you look out across the back green and you cant even see the other side. and you could be marooned, anywhere really. i like lying around the meadows. i always thought that glasgow was my city. but i may have been converted. glasgow is the city where i did my teenage drinking. edinburgh is the city where i sort of started to find my little place in the world. my niche. it is where i take my photographs and it is where i have made some friends. and now im in glasgow for three months. i think i'll miss my edinburgh.
im going away soon with my friend. he wants to do some work with me which is very exciting. mixed media and photography work. he wants us to try and turn some of it into an SG shoot which, well, ive put my SG ambitions a little on the back burner. im not really sure why. maybe just cuz i havent heard back from cherry yet, maybe cuz ive had so much work to do and a flat to think about. i hope to sort this over the summer. that and my tattoo and a couple of personal projects i have on the go. and i want to get my folio looking decent. and get together enough money for photoshop and a medium format camera. i guess my next purchase should be digital SLR but frankly i dont feel i need it just yet. and all the SLRs i handled were bigger than my fucking film SLR and i have dinky girl hands, i need a camera i can manouver. so yeah. would someone make me a more compact digital SLR. im forever browsing e-bay for the perfect medium format. of course i dont have much money but it could be quite basic. i wouldnt mind trying to pick up some lenses too but since i dont know exactly where i want to specialise yet so it seems silly to shop for lenses i may not even need. but i could experiment with them. and if i never used them i could sell them on. i quite fancy a fish eye stylee lens. i'd quite like, at some point to start doing some shoots for SG but then im not sure that my shooting style is quite what theyre after. im not sure im good enough yet either. so maybe i'll stick with what i know. i'd kill for a little work right now tho. like my wee sisters prom, they didnt hire a photographer and i was like, Dude, i'd have done it for like 50 fucking quid. i'd have done it for just covered costs + any particular prints they wanted just for my folio. grr.
sorry, this must be the most boring blog ever. its a bit of a stream of consciousness because its like two am. maybe i will try shooting a set when we're away. i dont know. i might use the time to try to learn to shoot a decent landscape. (we're going down past cambelltown)
i could do something a bit tragic looking, with ocean etc. and, hm, ideas ideas. someone said you shouldnt share set ideas on the site. and when the elusive origial idea comes to me i'll be sure to keep it a secret. but until then i like to brainstorm. also, i would be very picky about what i'd submit. i wouldnt like people seeing my set up and going, oh look theres another *insert theme here* set and walking on by.

my freind said that girls like me are a curiosity because i have an opinion, you know, out loud. because i am masculine and confusing. he said we are in demand. is this good? i am unsure. i think women in general should have more balls. but then self righteuos (sp?) cunts like myself always think other people should be like them.

the other day a boy i slept with said i should be a suicide girl. i was drunk and said that he'd already gotten me into bed and didnt have to say that sort of thing anymore. he did not like this comment. but we still had sex.

when i get my new flat i may buy a kittne and keep it in secret.

i have to sleep.

a reason i am not sleeping is worry. my freind is developing an eating disorder and i just found out. i am not sure how to help him. its really not my area of expertise at all. stupid worry.

xx