twentythree

Why are there never any really interesting candidates for the Presidency?
Like Xorlog, Imperial Dictator of the Planet Geezelgrog?
Or maybe a guy that dresses up like a turnip and runs on a platform of vegatable superiority?
When are we gonna see some stuff like this?
God, the 21st century is boring.


Sometimes I read people's comments and when there are a bunch of real supportive, happy, pleasant comments I just want to tell the person getting all the positive comments to kill themselves.
Just to break up the monotony.


I have never had a one night stand.
I don't think I could stand to be around anyone for an entire night.
I could maybe have an "hour and a half stand."


I think that if someone is going to kill themselves, they should try to make it pretty interesting.
Like maybe punching a gorilla in the skull.
Or riding a flaming, cracked out ostrich into a bank and urinating into people's eye sockets until the police gun you down.


I have a new address and it is 21 Jumstreet.
On 21 Jumpstreet you can learn all about drugs, teenage pornography, and loan-sharking.
Hoagy will teach you about the loan-sharking, by the way.
For the rest there is Officer's Hanson, Penhall, Aioki and Hoffs.
Also.
Let me just say that I love "The Karate Kid."
The Cobra Kais are the fuckin' coolest.
Especially Dutch, he is my favorite.
This is what I do instead of having a girlfriend.