twentythree

I don't think I could have been a soldier in the German army under Hitler.
No one had a sense of humor.
Like, I just always wanted to see that one "wacky" nazi.
You know, maybe a guy that wore those Groucho Marx glasses and a clown nose that would slap a "kick me" sign on the back of Josef Goebbels.
And then Goebbels would get kicked, realize there's a sign on his back and say "Oh Heinrich! You're such a kidder!"
And then everyone would laugh.
I don't think that happened a whole lot.


I've always wanted to steal some candy from a baby.
Just to see if it's as easy as everyone says it is.


Next time you want to approach a girl, just walk up and tell her you're a convicted sex offender.
Girls like those "bad boy" types.