twentythree

So I went to see Depeche Mode and they were very good and all that but something funny happened while I was at the show.
I was standing in a long ass line at the merchandise counter and this girl, I think she must have been 18 or 19, comes up to me and asks if I will buy her a shirt after I finally make it near the front of the line.
And of course I say no.
But then she tells me that she will give me the money, she just wants me to get it for her.
And I ask why she doesn't just get it herself.
And she tells me that she doesn't want to have to wait in line.
Like everyone else has had to.
Apparently, because she is a pretty girl, she thinks she doesn't have to wait in line.
Pretty girls do this sort of shit all the time.
It is why they are not terribly bright: because dumb ass guys will trip over thier own cocks to help these girls for no good reason.
So these girls never have to be clever, because some moron will always do for them what they don't feel like doing for themselves.
Anyway, back to the story.
So, like a stupid guy, I say "Okay, I will get your t-shirt for you."
And she gives me $35 and walks off to my right to wait.
And I take her $35 and I buy myself a t-shirt with it.
And then I walk in the opposite direction from where she is standing.
And she comes up to me, now suddenly with a weinie boyfriend in tow and she asks me where her shirt is or where her money is.
And I look straight at her, doing my best to look puzzled, and I say "Huh?"
It starts to dawn on her what has happened.
She starts getting upset.
She says she wants her money.
I tell her: "Look, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about you crazy bitch. Get away from me or I'm gonna call security."
Then I walk away.
The boyfriend tells me to stop and I tell him that if he touches me I will crack his skull open and shit on his living brain and then drink his girlfriend's blood.
I walk away.
Security shows up.
They approach me alongside this girl and her boyfriend.
They totally take her side.
Because she is a pretty girl.
But there is nothing they can do really.
No one can prove anything.
I ask the girl if she got a reciept from me.
And then I say I will call the police if they don't leave me alone and I walk away to the security guard telling the girl that she shouldn't give her money to strangers and that it is kind of her own fault.

And that is what I like to call turning every situation to your own advantage.