twelvis

i'm sort of working on a play. it's called "cotton candy randy and the robot zoo." it's about a boy named randy who, through a series of humorous and complicated mishapps, cannot go with his class on a field trip to the robot zoo. his best friend, a boy who is half-broccoli, half-egg, offers to dress like a robot buttler. hilarity ensues. his other best friend is the school bully who is always wearing rollerskates. the bully constantly gets into fights with randy's adoptive mother, a butch lesbian mexican wrestling cat named Mistress Meow Meow del Terror. the play is going nowhere because i keep introducing pointless characters such as Calculette, the deaf robot fairy; Julian the gay volkswagon; Principal Herpes; the breakfast pals, Reverend Gus of the Church of the Carwash; special cameos by Joan Jett, Penny, Dave Thomas and Hamburglar, Joseph Goebels and Raymond Chandler.

i was also working on a prequel to The Goonies before i found out it was inescapably boring.