twelvis

today will go down in my memoirs as the day i knocked everything down.

the pope oughta tatoo "CLUMSY" accross my forehead. i mean, i wake up and i knock my alarm clock and break it. then i spill the following before leaving the house: shaving gel, aftershave, hair goo, and a tin of dog biscuits...then it occurs to me that i oughta put on my glasses.

ok, fine, glasses applied. luckily i don't crash into anything but when i go to feed the ducks at the pond i knock one over and he gets kinda cranky. i feel embarassed and walk away.

and now i just spilled a jar of vitamins and knocked some paintings off the shelf. oh and i fell into my house and knocked it down. tomorrow i'm going to blame it on my doppleganger, THE SINISTER MELVIS. i blame him for stealing my last 100 clonazepams and turning my dog into a bad dog.

currently searching for bridges under which to live.

and i hate my job. MY BOSS CAN SUCK IT!

xo,
twelvis