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A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.

The dog replied, But that would make no sense at all.
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autrix:
I have no idea why this isnt working.

im confused and giggling.
cedar:
with what car, darling?
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rawr_ima_monster:
I don't know that I can really rationally blame you, but we hung out and then I went to sleep and then I woke up and I was sick.
-so, who knows. wink
Dave
rawr_ima_monster:
Maybe it was from cleaning that up, but I seem to remember washingup pretty well and not putting it near my orifices.
You fuck off.
I don't know how you got so much drunker, you didn't seem that bad when you left. Anyhow, I won't be pushign your facein any puke, though I can try and stop refilling your glass.
Maxx was in a different bed. Bean had left.
-Come get it, it's sitting in my car. I promise I haven't been fondling it obsessively. tongue
Dave
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For last night's performance I'd like to thank:

grapes - for "being peeled and crushed into such a fine wine"
my memory - for not letting me remember that I called my mother a bitch in the middle of fucking church last night
piggy tails - for holding my hair back when I puked
santa and his elves - for cleaning abovesaid puke up
jesus...
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somethingstupid:
Merry Christmas, ho bag. smile
somethingstupid:
Wait, is ho bag one word or two? Or hyphenated? Shit, now I have to look it up.
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1 SG + lots of pink + some dolls + fire + knives & scissors + 1 noose + 1 damn fine photographer + 1 hot assistant == 1 long night!

But ohmygod am I excited. Hot hot hot. I had to run in the other room to beat off, like, three times.

I'm exhaused now, but seeing the view up to my house I...
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rawr_ima_monster:
I want to peel you like a grape and squeeze your juices into fine wine.
33parker:
I kinda like Apples in Stereo.......I thought no one else had heard of them.
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Do not resuscitate.
....

Fuck you all - Can't you see I'm supposed to be dead? See? I'm playing emo-possum, assholes.

Anyways, life does go on, even in the midst of this bullshit Christmas season (bah humbug), shitty people, and general disappointment with life.

But it's hard not to be excited about the new year... and the possibility of living in the best city in...
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cavatica:
Well, uh, thanks!

And NYC is SO not the greatest city in the world. ;>
stitchy:
hey girl. i would love to hang out with ya. maybe when i get back next week. i was only in town for yesterday and today and gotta jet off again tomorrow. sux.
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...

I'm on my way back to the east coast for good
(and maybe a little bad...)

Who's down for a roadtrip?
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hati:
I'm glad I went to Thailand, but I don't think I'd go back to the places I visited, unless it was with a big group of my friends. The stuff you did though, looks awesome. You really went to a Muy Thai kickboxing event? That is bad-ass. It's like little leauge over there, because kids are doing it at such an early age. If they came over here they would seriously knock that tee-ball stand the fuck out!

The people were so attentive, though, it kind of made me uncomfortable. Everything was a hard sell. Pushing pushing pushing! Even sex! I didn't hire any prostitutes, but I wasn't paying attention one night and found myself surrounded by a group of bars. I looked up and felt like a piece of meat dropped in a piranah tank. "Come in, come in!" "Uhhh, no thanks."

And did that guy just comment and your "honess?"
tuxy:
What guy? I have no clue what you're talking about wink
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The adventure begins:
I'm off to the airport soon. See you in NYC (or not, suckas)!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
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cynicminded:
holy crap! new pics! does that mean you're back home? hmmmmmmmmmm? You were missed at the "Screw Off".
cedar:
will that road trip involve us "doing it"???
if so, then YES.

if not, then SCREW YOU.
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT! (A talking muffin? NO!)

It's a girl! I'm loading up my new pink baby iPod with music right now. Happy Birthday to me! Seriously! What kind of brat am I? 4 days until my birthing day and the festivities have already begun.

I'm going to the premiere for Ocean's Eleven tomorrow night in Hollywood with the most beautiful girl in the world....
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rawr_ima_monster:
because I'll forget- happy birthday.
-say hello to freyja and luna (& anyone else I met) for me.
Dave
mobprod:
Tuxy's toothbrush love
I can sense it from afar
My teeth are clean now
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selket:
holy shit. pun intended. those undies are hot. all hail tuxy!!! love
borticus:
Thanks for the welcoming. Nice undies. wink
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For the record:

I'm not hungover
And the cold that was killing me yesterday is gone

Ah, the amazing healing qualities of alcohol.

NYC countdown: 8
Birthday countdown: 9
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atomrobenz:
21!!!! biggrin No wonder you're counting down. Fun stuff.
cat:
thanks for the b-day wishes my fellow sag!