turin

some of you have heard this true story already, so don't get too excited.

so the other day, I was out walking around after work, and I suddenly realised, "hey, I'm invisible!" so that was pretty cool. I immediately decided to apply my newfound powers towards eliminating my crushing debt thorough means other than hard work, and I strolled on down to the u.s. mint in denver. after that it was just a matter of waiting for people to open whichever door I wanted to pass through. I chose to follow the series of signs that said "money this way -->" so I did. after many hilarious adventures, I found myself at the end of the line: a bare white room with a big stack of money, no shit, just money sitting in the middle of it. I was all, "damn, dude." there was a guard with a rifle in one corner and this little old hippie lady in another. so check it out, the hippie lady looked right at me, no shit, right at me which, I mean, was something because I was still invisible at this point, and she's all, "oh, looks like we got another one, bob." and the guard's all, "no shit, can you handle it?" and the lady's all, "ghuh. " so she starts looking at me real mean-like, and suddenly, I shit you not, it was like I was being stabbed with knives all over my body all at once! swear to god, it hurt like a motherfucker. so of course, I'm all, "dude this sucks, I'm getting my invisible ass the fuck out of this crazy place." so I turn around to run and-- get this-- that crazy psychic bitch was right there behind me!!! so I'm all, "dude, this REALLY sucks." and then it hurt so bad I passed out. so I then I woke up in my bed with a wicked hangover and a souvenier coin on my pillow and I wasn't invisible anymore. true story!!!