ttye0

Witnessing a baby, violently shaking to end with a sudden, last, tense movement. The body gives in and drowns. Mother and father were never there. Anyone but them could hear the it, splashing and panting. Waking up with a loud scream of disappointment. Crying so hard. Never the pleasure to become that child. So pure and ignorant of love.

I dreamed of this child the other day. Begging god to strike me down. Let me be held in the sweet and cold arms of the long sleep. Take me, take me away from here. Remembering everything. Your voice and touch. Remembering each time you said you loved me. Youd always be there but your not here now.

All the moments, I say I love you now. You never hear me anymore. Whimpering in the dark awaiting your reply. Its becoming colder outside, and its raining now. All of the sweetness has passed me by now. The only thing I have left is my lack of hope and broken memories. To find another love and do it all over again. So ignorant of what really matters.

Dearest friend, my shadow. Follow its footsteps to the place hoped to be forgotten. Throwing me in and locking me inside again. Leaving me for dead. Look up and smirk with a waterfall of tear flowing off my face. I bring myself here into this place. It is so hard to escape. Harder each time.

The voice on the phone, nothing is alright. Take me, make my world for two again. It is all in your hands. It is only you, all your beauty and purity. How could I make it without your hands to cup my mouth and nose. Crying, hold me closer dont ever let go. I could die tonight in your arms, let this be my last moment. Always misunderstanding, just keep trying to put the pillow down my throat. I will still always love you. I fucking love you forever.

~cries~