ttoomuch

I'm on the run, I did begin 6 more paintings. 100 days left and still 45 pieces to do.
But I'm reaaaaaally having fun.
And it helps me to forget arsh things of life (see below).

The new one: "Exorbitado" this time the CD is partly out of the frame, 25x35cm



The one I showed in my last journal as in process, now finished:
"wake-up" "quiero despertar a tu lado" 25x35cm



And a final touch on this one:
Acid. Tribute to 90 s house music. 20x25cm



I always have had an artist attitude on sex. That sounds silly but yes for me it's kind of an art. The passion I put to it, the investigation, the time I like to spend to it.
No offense, but the women is my interactive canvas, and I touch her the same way, respect, passion, perfectionism. Listen, feel, touch, vibrate.
Because of that, the goal is to get my "canvas" to the top, and I mainly forget myself.

The bad point is: that was the first 1/2 part of my adult life. Then I fell in love and married a woman that fullfil most of the things I want in life, except in sex.

I mean, the beginning was ok, not as much or as far as I wanted but really intense.
Then we got a child... And it changed her so much. We still have fun while having sex but it's so few times a year... Every time it's more traditional. whatever noise in the house or the feeling that somebody could be hearing us cuts her libido like a knife. My son is 14 years old now

And don't tell me you should try this or that. I did it all. I have a lot of imagination, so I really did fight for that.

Last year we almost cut then fix it.

But I'm so frustrated. it's been more then three weeks now. I'm sick of masturbation.

Maybe that's the reason why that accidental kiss of the other day with the cute girl is making me so sick. I don't even think it would work more then 2 weeks with her, she's totally insane. But it appeals me like hell



Friday 27
Last night I spend from 3 to 5 o'clock awake thinking of her, my wife sleeping on my side. It really begins to drive me crazy.