tsaos

Responsibility. Seriously. Why do I always have to be so damn responsible? I went to a Christmas party, had a back up place to crash in the event the person hosting the party didn't want me crashing there (ah, look at that responsibility there too!) but even still, I couldn't bring myself to get trashed. I haven't cut loose like that in... I think it was my going away party from my last unit over a year ago. Everything was taken care of. There were no issues. All I had to do was drink and I coudln't do it. Oh I had beers, and one shot. They were spaced out. I don't even think I was buzzed at all. Ended up leaving around 3 am when the last of us left.

Why do I always have to do that though? Even with things that aren't mine I take responsibility for. Like when evals were being done. One of my coworkers had gone home for the day but we both needed to make corrections to our troops evals. Since I was there, I corrected them all. Sent them back up for review and they came back again. Fixed them again, and sent them back up again. I must've stayed an extra 2 hours to make sure everything was perfect. It was me and only one other person from my whole branch.

Why is it such a watchword for me? Why do I take it so seriously? Why can't I put myself first for once instead of what needs to be done?

Any thoughts?