"Everyone lies...nobody minds...everyone lies...where is the man you respect?...and where is the woman you love?? Where is the woman you love??" -- Morrissey.

If there was just some way to cut through the crap.....

Everyone is afraid, and it seems so fucking easy to me. It seems so easy to be honest. To be real. If we could just somehow climb into a dirty bathtub without touching eachother...with no water, with no music, with nothing but a door that would be locked for 5 hours and discuss at what point you became so afraid...at what point you became so bitter...at what point you decided to label everything that ever made you feel alive as unimportant, silly, stressful, BAD, WRONG. Not everything good lasts forever...and not everything that ends is a mistake. I never considered you a mistake. I NEVER TURNED YOU INTO LESS THAN YOU WERE. I never forget a feeling -- the bad doesn't erase the good -- the good doesn't erase the bad. I may have been naive then, but can you imagine what I'd give to have some of that naiveity back...

Now I find myself too wise to become lost in a pair of eyes. Because everyone lies. And nothing is as meaningless as you might wish it to be. We won't disappear. We know you're not numb. In fact, I can find few more tortured than you.

Heartbreak is relative. I felt my ego fold several times -- but in the back of mind, I knew it was special. I wish she knew. And if you ever turn her into what you turned me into -- a regret, a faint memory, selectively forgetful of every real, unsullied moment in the saga of two humans studying eachother's stories, if you ever turn her into a mistake, a lesson, an "I don't know why", a joke, then you are still lying to yourself, and your life has not been worth the love you've given or recieved. If you cannot look back when you're old and fat and bald and lonely and say "Well, maybe that's not what I wanted, but I still remember the way she kissed, and oh, wow, I loved her.", then god help you.