my swedish class started again last night. i thought i had studied enough over the summer, but then i show up to class and hear almost nothing BUT swedish for 2 hours! half the time, it just sounded like nonsense, and when i would try to understand, it just made my head hurt. then i got called on to give an answer for something i didn't even understand, and i almost cried. i'm going to stay in the class, because i think it will help, but it will not be easy.

also, i saw my friend who's doing heroine on the way home. he stopped me and started saying really loud, "you'll have to let me eat you out sometime. i never got to. you have to promise me you will." i ducked my head and replied quietly, "i'm not going to promise you anything at this point." normally it wouldn't phase me, but normally he'd be sober enough to keep his voice down and not humiliate us like that.
when i passed by the same spot on my way to work this morning, he was still there, looking really cold and miserable, and i couldn't even look at him. i'm afraid he'll overdose or die of exposure, and i can't handle losing another friend. its hard enough to see him doing this to himself.




"sometimes the worst part of getting what you want is having what you wanted." -this phrase has been going through my head all day.