tryptamine_____

i got an email from My Friend In Sweden. he said that he had decided that i couldn't come live with him, which i totally expected. but the way he said it was so insulting and degrading. he pulled out the same old bullshit that he's been using on me for two years now, that he is the one who does all the sacrificing. he has no fucking idea how much i have sacrificed and compromised for him, because i would do it without asking anything in return. one line in particular really got to me, where he said something like, "have some fucking perseverance and patience. you can't expect this to be easy." if he had said that to my face, i would have punched him, hard.

(you know how HE got to sweden? his dad is swedish, which automatically qualifies him for citizenship, and his dad is rich and wanted him out of the house anyway. not to mention, he has no idea how much determination and patience i have discovered in myself over this past year; the fact that i haven't lost interest, that every obstacle just gives me a reason to try harder, is entirely new to me.)

anyway, enough ranting. i got to spin fire again. the first time, i got them tied in a knot and had to put them out, but the second time was awesome. i think the fact that they were playing the NIN song "closer" really accentuated it. everyone loved it. there were a few pictures taken, as well, so hopefully i'll be able to show you guys those soon. if not, there is another party planned near halloween and i will undoubtedly be doing it again.