tryptamine_____

i went to fire class last night. paul was trying to teach me new moves but i couldn't seem to get them, and the frustration of that on top of the whole moving-to-sweden drama reduced me to tears.

i wasn't sure if i should light my poi in such a state of mind.

DreamMaker said, "just do what you know."

L said, "i think you should do it. its therapeutic."

so i did! and it was wonderful! the warmth and light and sound all together created a new world where i felt almost whole again, where the unhappiness melted away. and the smile on my face was huge! i want to do it again!

i spun twice, and the second time was even better than the first. everyone was so supportive, and so happy for me. there was a woman there who had been teaching herself how to spin all summer but had never spun actual fire, and we got her to spin too. i think it helped that i had told her it was my first time, and then she got to see how ecstatic i was afterwards.

paul took pictures of me. if one comes out nice, i'll post it as my profile pic.