true_love

Woot!

Europe?

I`m there

Glad you are alive

Speak soon when you have the wireless convenience

How are you mate? Thinkin of ya

you libras are all the same! it's ok, my first love was one and well - i still love him, we still talk and he's still a libra! just because you might appreciate this... we were both virgins and absolutely in love... the look on your face in this photo reminds me of the very feeling of being with him. odd? no. libras....

That all sounds funny mate.

I don`t think I`ve mentioned it to you, but back last March we had a `friend` who we hadn`t seen for a year and was really friends with a good friend of ours called Tigerlily, call up and ask to stay at our place as his fiance chucked him out.

So it was fine for a few months, we charged him a small amount for food a week and he ate with us and helped himself to booze and everything was fine. We knew his money was limited and didn`t expect him to leave right away, but he`s still with us! The story goes on and on and frankly I`m bored with it all. We`ve changed his terms, no food, little more money.

Now we are really put out with him.

I THINK WE NEED YOU OVER TO TELL HIM TO `GET OFF HIS ARSE, FIND A BETTER JOB, STOP BEING SO SELFISH`.

To be fair we`ve not told him to go, but I think he is abusing the situation and being less than sensitive. What is worse is that he still believes he was thrown out. What a load of tosh. He wasn`t getting on with the girl, she threw him out in anger, she begged him to come back the next day, but he cut off all contact to her and her son. Sometimes he goes on about being thrown out and I think to myself, you made a choice mate, nothing more. It upsets me as well that he didn`t leave a letter or something for that boy. He still hasn`t called him or anything.

I was very pleased when my Girls Son moved out last january. I was looking forward to some pricvacy. We got a month of privacy and now we have another `son`.

But the funny thing is, he`s a year older than me! I think he would benifit from some of your advice.

Happy New Year Dude!

At-one-ment! I haven't heard anyone else use that since I took a class in Buddhism from a former physicist. 1993? I've always played with the now-here/nowhere concept as well. People have said that I live in my head too much - so I'm going to fuck and get fucked like mad tomorrow. They also say I feel too much so maybe the fucking isn't such a good idea? ;o) I am mindful. My mind has come to thumb its nose at the traditional notion of "the moment." I used to wash the dishes when I washed the dishes. Now... I wash the dishes and experience every dish I've ever washed and every dish I will wash - every dish that has ever been and ever will be washed - and so much more. It is difficult to put into words. It isn't even "my" mind.... It is Mind. Sometimes the little me gets scared and withdraws. I become ME. Ego. Self. I tend to write about the adventures and struggles of ME in here as there is no need to write about Mind - Connectedness - at least not when I am there. I dump the grime of Self in here. I like the grime of Self. I like getting dirty. That's what I have a body for! I see no inherent conflict between the two. It isn't a striving for 'salvation' in Oneness with something... I'm there when I let myself be. As ME, I get to work out silly things like guilt and desire and how to decrease suffering in the world. I get to play. ;o)

Ha! Ok, washing dishes was the first thing I practiced Mindfulness with on a regular basis since it's a very regular and rather humdrum seeming thing to do. But lo! Warm is the water and the bubbles feel so nice! There is such variety in texture between dishes, pots, glassware.... I'll stop.

I am allowing myself to enjoy being alive more and more. I fought against this life for quite some time and sometimes still do. What I believe and what I experience aren't always in sync. Like I said, I don't tend to write about the joy of Satori in here but rather the struggles and games, the tricks I play on myself as an ego.

I still like getting dirty. I need my ego to live. Eventually I won't need it and then I suppose I will end. But while I'm using it, I may as well enjoy! This is not the time in my life for asceticism.

I could really do without the "chronic, intractable major depression" though. It was one thing to be a little different in the way I thought in high school, but really, I'm tired of being tired of it. I can deal with the "psychosis" and "anxiety" but the depression.... Bloody hell.

I do welcome and appreciate your thoughts.

Yeh the company pays man, or I`d never go

I`m a seedy sorta guy

Its a great book. There is a large part of me that wants to believe everything in it. it makes a lot of sense, even to the uninitiated.

I will be kind to myself

You take care

It has taken at least six attempts for me to get to the point where I can add a comment. I had something on the deep side of metaphysical all set to be shared, but now I'm wondering if maybe I wasn't meant to say it! Also, I was thinking of your ex and the dreams you had; it could be passed off with a psychological explanation involving catharsis, but Id prefer to think your minds were connected. That could only happen BECAUSE of the Oneness. So even though she may have abused it, you might want to look at it again later on - if it ever becomes less creepy to you. ;o) After all, we seem to be physical interpreters/invokers of the Oneness or Mind and you seem to have had a very direct experience of it.

whoa... words to live by. thanks for the reminder. by the way...where do you reside?

i'm in lil' ol' adelaide, enjoying the milder weather and the sandy beaches of the southern ocean. Am missing the rockin' bands and pubs of melbourne tho.