trixxx

I just feel depleted. Empty. I am not sure all the reasons why , don't have the energy to care.

If I averaged out how much I get to sleep though since having babies I bet it would work uot to about 4 hours per night. By the time I got done nursing one through the night , the next baby came and I would start it all again, not including the toddler late night interuptions with nightmares and such...I refuse to go to bed too early no matter how I feel as it is the only adult time I have to myself and with husband... I also overextended myself with volunteer work in the evenings but the intent was to give me adults to talk to....Its all my fault why I feel this way

The last break I had where I slept in past 7 was in June for one day... , since then I have gotten up no matter what 7 days a week at 6 to 7 AM every fucking day (and with a smile as I have three little faces smiling at me and asking for breakfast...so I fake smile back and get on with it...)

wah wah wah...

how dare I fucking moan about this when it is all I have ever wanted. I have unconditional love (hubby) for the first time in my life, a nice house, beautiful children all in all ... I got it all

.............................................................................................................most days I feel it lifts me up, but today I feel like its killing me slowly..............