THE SECRET....for some reason this keeps popping up in the last few weeks. My friends that own the tattoo shop where I live (not really but used to work there and spend far too much time there) anyway they are over the damn moom about it. Read it, watch it ..they say. Then I turn on tv and its there...and then my hubby downloaded it for me and alas I watched it. hmmmmmmmmmmmm 
The problem is that I already have everyting I have ever wanted, more even. I am not materialistic either so I do not pine for fancy houses or cars (ok maybe hotrods but ...) Call it whatever, "asking the universe" or prayer...
I remember praying alot as a child. Born to ppl who didn't want me I lived a desperate and terribly abusive childhood, moving every year to whoever would have me I suffered alot. I was raped starting at age 2 and it continued until about 7. I was beaten. I cried at night, missing my siblings, missing what I knew I didn;'t have, a family. I prayed for one. every night.."please god , just make me a part of a family that loves me for me , that wants me". I prayed to be safe. I prayed to be happy. I prayed for unconditional love. I prayed for aceeptance. I prayed for guidance.
I didn't know then that I would have to wait , I didn't know that the family I prayed so hard for would be my own, of my womb. I have so much love in my life now. and serentity, and insight, and unconditional love, support, happiness....I am safe, no one hurts me.
What in the hell do I have to ask for? I have more now than most ppl have their whole lives. It would be arrogant to ask for such petty things as fancy items. should I ask for health? i have beaten cancer so I have that all wrapped up. A house? I have one I like. .....
So I guess it is not that I discredit it or think its lame, creative visualiztion in any form is good. knowing what you want and going after it is good. maybe when I get off this tide of gratitude I can find soemthing else to want ...
but for now... I am just grateful
The problem is that I already have everyting I have ever wanted, more even. I am not materialistic either so I do not pine for fancy houses or cars (ok maybe hotrods but ...) Call it whatever, "asking the universe" or prayer...
I remember praying alot as a child. Born to ppl who didn't want me I lived a desperate and terribly abusive childhood, moving every year to whoever would have me I suffered alot. I was raped starting at age 2 and it continued until about 7. I was beaten. I cried at night, missing my siblings, missing what I knew I didn;'t have, a family. I prayed for one. every night.."please god , just make me a part of a family that loves me for me , that wants me". I prayed to be safe. I prayed to be happy. I prayed for unconditional love. I prayed for aceeptance. I prayed for guidance.
I didn't know then that I would have to wait , I didn't know that the family I prayed so hard for would be my own, of my womb. I have so much love in my life now. and serentity, and insight, and unconditional love, support, happiness....I am safe, no one hurts me.
What in the hell do I have to ask for? I have more now than most ppl have their whole lives. It would be arrogant to ask for such petty things as fancy items. should I ask for health? i have beaten cancer so I have that all wrapped up. A house? I have one I like. .....
So I guess it is not that I discredit it or think its lame, creative visualiztion in any form is good. knowing what you want and going after it is good. maybe when I get off this tide of gratitude I can find soemthing else to want ...
but for now... I am just grateful
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
vinnyvidivici:
Glad you liked it. It makes me laugh, too...
misskristin:
he is a full time student, no money either.