trixxx

It's funny as you age how differently your mind works. I seem to feel the need more to examine WHY I do things and how I can better myself and my enviroment. I have learned this year about boundaries, and what excatly my "issues" are and how to deal with them better. Its almost like when I created my own family I really needed to put to examine, pin point and DEAL with my life thus far. I have found such peace now..I have seen , examined and dealt with the past enough now to move forward in my thinking as to where I am going and how to get there. Maybe this is what growing up is.

I have temporarily shelved the whole idea of chronicaling the novella of my past. Its not that it is hard to write about , I have a tendancy to be able to tell the story almost as a thrid party...to which it all happened to. It is just that I am unsure of my motive in wanting to write it. I'm unsure of who it is that I am writing it to. So for now I have just been generally writing. Some blog like, some short fiction. I have been so focused on the creation of these three beings (my kids) that I have forgotten how much I used to get from creating in general. I used to paint , draw flash (sold some once) , write ... Small steps. I WILL do things for me so that I can be a better mother and partner. (my new mantra)