To me it constantly seems like the moment you say to yourself, "Life is great" everything starts to fall apart! It's like a jinx you put on yourself! Surely it shouldn't be that terrible to enjoy the wonders of life and admitting that everything is going well does not mean that the lives we lead are not appreciated! Is the answer to this to never admit that I am happy? Or is it that we subconciously deliberatley sabbotage our happiness for the drama and upset that it brings? Tak for example recent events, I met a guy, we exchanged numbers and at first I wasn't that bothered or even keen, but the attention that we recieve intrigues us so we play along, hoping to be complimented and flattered! So we meet for drinks, get on great, but I'm still not sure if I like him or the attention! When this feeling changed and I thought to myself, "I do actually like him... Actually I like him a lot!" He stopped calling me! The sad thing is him not responding to me made me like him even more but was it because of him or because of the challange? (Still can't work that one out!) This is when I thought to myself, "It's because I told myself I was happy, that's why it all had to go wrong!" Eventually a week later after I sent quite an abusive text I got a response and again a feeling of happiness swooned over me, for a few days all was great, until I repeated those 3 stupid words in my head, "Life is great!" Then guess what!!! Haven't heard from him again!!! I say lesson learnt, but this vicious cycle will happen over and over again. I just have to figure out whether it's a fact of life that admitting you own happiness automatically ruins it or if I ruin it all by myself without even knowing it? Am I in controll or not? So I end with this conclusion. Life you are one annoying mind fuck!!!
