Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

trixel

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 81 Following 83

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Mar 06, 2005

Mar 6, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Ok so this place is supposed to be where I can do thinking and work things out.

One thing I realize after only one week: WoW is terrible for me. I'm not able to play it a reasonable amount of time. I've not worked out all week, and I've eaten a crazy amount of junk food. Plus (and this is the very sad bit), I'm dreaming video game. I HATE that. I've not had a creative thought in about 4 years, and this is not helping me back on the road to feeling something again.

I think I'd call WoW the crystal meth of videogames.

I need to change my life radically, but I'm not sure where to start. Again, like last spring, I'm toying with applying for engineering. Why am I interested in engineering? Because it has the potential to be creative. I would be using my brain. I don't think the job would be repetitive. I can't handle repetitive tasks, they numb out my poor addled head.

But then I think, am I seeking to take engineering to provide myself with a) a set plan for the next x years or b) just thinking of financial benefits or c) scared of trying something less structured for fear of being lost? Maybe it's all of these.

Then I think about A. How does going back to school affect any possibilities we may have for working out? I don't want to base my life decisions on that, and I know he wouldn't want me to. He's said as much. As well it wouldn't be fair to him. The fact is, I like A very much, and I could see myself very happy with him. I have no idea how to get to that place. Then I think about thinking that, and have to chide myself for not just enjoying what we have now.

Could I be a writer? That's the background question. I don't think I have the skills I once had. I do think, though, that if I started reading again and writing again, much of it would come back. The thought of being a writer scares me. It's like freefalling. It does please me to write though. Well it pleases me after it hurts a great deal.

What to do, what to do?
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
kay:
*smooch* Do it all. Why could you not take classes where A is?

~cheers
Mar 7, 2005
akirali:
Thanks for the offer anyway smile

The thing about writing is, if you ever were good at it, it's like riding a bike. You never really lose your talent. Good luck in whichever you choose.
Mar 7, 2005

More Blogs

  • 08.23.06
    16

    Wednesday Aug 23, 2006

    It's funny. I'm 37 years old, and in the land of free healthcare, I'v…
  • 08.20.06
    8

    Monday Aug 21, 2006

    Blargh. Can't sleep and having my usual Monday morning neurotic episo…
  • 08.18.06
    8

    Friday Aug 18, 2006

    I plowed through some bureacracy this morning, then emailed my lawyer…
  • 08.14.06
    5

    Tuesday Aug 15, 2006

    I'm feeling uncharacteristically optimistic the past couple days. I t…
  • 08.14.06
    5

    Monday Aug 14, 2006

    If anyone noticed I went grey for about 3 hours. A long time ago Aaro…
  • 08.12.06
    11

    Saturday Aug 12, 2006

    So it's the usual weekend stuff: cleaning, organizing, procrastinatin…
  • 08.09.06
    12

    Wednesday Aug 09, 2006

    Yesterday I went my first day in remembered history without coffee. S…
  • 08.08.06
    9

    Tuesday Aug 08, 2006

    This morning at around 5:30, I had an acid reflux attack so severe th…
  • 08.07.06
    10

    Monday Aug 07, 2006

    Gah, now that I'm trying to find mp3s to load onto the iPod for my si…
  • 08.05.06
    9

    Saturday Aug 05, 2006

    I'm the Maid of Honour for my sister's wedding at the end of October.…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
21
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,613 followers
  • 14,946,853 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,458,366 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo