trixel

"Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah"

-Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen

First off, thank you for the crazy concern about my greyness. I had a guest membership from my slave. It seemed I had to wait for it run out before I could renew. I promise to give you all notice when I do leave. I'd need contact information and such.

Everywhere I turn I seem to find an outpouring of love and beauty these days, even in the most mundane activities. People are an absolute joy to be around. They surprise me, and I like to be surprised.

I've contacted a local university and made an appointment to meet with the Dean of Engineering for Tuesday morning. I'll see what falls into place from that.

I've had "a-ha" moments a plenty in recent days (thank you to louys for a lovely discussion of the clinical effects of psychedelics on the brain).

I had a wonderful talk with my ex where it seemed we've resolved our relationship with each other to mutual respect and love and hope for the other. I realize I will never be able to put a boundary around what I still feel for him. It defies definition, much like our relationship did.

I've been talking with the robotics boy D in Victoria who has inspired me to take up my dreams again. We may one day be comrades and roommates, as there is an excellent engineering program in his city. Time will tell. I'm leaving it up to my determination to start off down a path. I'm sure chance and luck will be the final determinants of where I end up. I'm not worried: I am part Irish.

I haven't had much interaction with my slave recently. I know he is going through big life changes. I know he cares for me and wants to serve me. I trust his sincerity in this. I will know by this November if he will serve a bigger part of in my life or not.

My friends, online and right here, have been grand to me. Your brilliance and stories have made this a spring to remember, even when it snowed. Thank you all. You help me find happiness!

Thank you to holymackerel for introducing me to Jeff Buckley. Thank you louys for the trippy interplay of words and thoughts about erotica, writing. Thank you for introducing me to Elliott Smith. Independence Day, indeed! And thank you, Choke for the perverse music of Lovage. Thank you blasfemme for listening to my shit.

Finally, for the past few weeks I've been blessed with interaction of another kind: intense, explicit, twisted, honest. I thank you A, for being sweet and vulnerable with me, and letting me take you in any way I please.