this is going to be depressing....
i am starting to think that i am not going to make it. my life is going no where and i might not be able to fix it. it seems like i have spent my whole life trying to please every body else except for me, and then i got tired of it. so i try to focus on my life, and what i want. the truth is i was not happy trying to make everyone else's lives happy and easy, but i'm not happy trying to please myself either. i am never going to be what i want, and i will probably never really like myself. i just wish i could find a way to be content. my life is so much better than it used to be, but i still find myself fearing the same thing.....me. everything is in my head, i make up all my problems. every time i start to think that things are going well and my life might change, my stupid mind has to remind me that i am nothing, and i won't let things get better. i used to say that hell for me would be having to live with myself for all eternity. i continually defeat myself before i try to advance....
why do i have so many issues???
tomorrow i am going to go to my favorite bar and drink my problems away like a normal person...and have fun. maybe i'll get to make out with my girl-crush. that would make me happy.
i am starting to think that i am not going to make it. my life is going no where and i might not be able to fix it. it seems like i have spent my whole life trying to please every body else except for me, and then i got tired of it. so i try to focus on my life, and what i want. the truth is i was not happy trying to make everyone else's lives happy and easy, but i'm not happy trying to please myself either. i am never going to be what i want, and i will probably never really like myself. i just wish i could find a way to be content. my life is so much better than it used to be, but i still find myself fearing the same thing.....me. everything is in my head, i make up all my problems. every time i start to think that things are going well and my life might change, my stupid mind has to remind me that i am nothing, and i won't let things get better. i used to say that hell for me would be having to live with myself for all eternity. i continually defeat myself before i try to advance....
why do i have so many issues???
tomorrow i am going to go to my favorite bar and drink my problems away like a normal person...and have fun. maybe i'll get to make out with my girl-crush. that would make me happy.
It's not illegal, immoral or fattening to please yourself some of the time u know, I go for the expect nothing hope for something approach with people because that way you don't feel continually disappointed. You didn't say what you wanted to be so kinda tricky to comment about that but I do think that some people have a struggle to come to terms with themselves and although they won't necessarily resolve it they can find an equilibrium of sorts.
Work on being stoichal about things, let it ride a bit. Ease up on yourself 'cos there's enough folk out there ready to have a go at you in your line of work and the world in general. Distract yourself, consider your life as others see it, make moves - even small changes can really help. Build something up over time , make plans for small,medium,long term. Don't get frustrated with yourself, I used to do that too , 'cos you are your single best asset and you'll have to rely on yourself so don't take it out on yourself that's too easy and too damaging!!
For somone who looks so good, with quality mods and everything to play for, you could go admire yourself in a full-length mirror as a reminder how good you look on the outside and why you should be gentle and respectful with yourself 'cos your beautiful on the inside too
I went to school in Chelmsford! but in the UK not USA