tristesse

i can't sleep anymore...
taking new medicine that causes my mind to race all hours of the night, so writing will be my new late night early morning hobby.
i've realized that i have this cute little issue where i can't actually hate anyone. no matter how mean or bitchy people are to me, i can't hate them. even the few ones that have done really bad things to screw me over. i only can get mad at myself for letting them do this to me. goddamnit why can't i just be pissed at people who are assholes instead of thinking that i am the asshole? grrrrr.......
oh and i can't find half of my photoshop files and i think i might cry......