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tristesse

Lowell, MA

Member Since 2004

Followers 48 Following 45

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Thursday Jan 11, 2007

Jan 11, 2007
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nobody really reads this, but it's kinda a good way to talk about stuff that's bothering me. so i'm gonna bitch.

why does my family feel the need to lie to me? i'm 25 years old, and consider myself an adult now, so why can't they just tell me the truth? my mom has breast cancer. they told me everything was going to be ok. she'd go on chemo, get a mastectomy, more chemo, radiation, and then hopefully be better. but today, my dad decides to tell me what's actually going on, because my mom didn't wan't to tell me or my sisters at all. her cancer has metastisized. it's in her liver, kindey, and lymph nodes. my mom and dad have known this for 2 months now, and just decided to tell me today. like i wouldn't figure something out. my mom thought this past christmas might be her last. did she tell us that? no, she didn't say anything about it. we went through the holidays thinking waiting for the doctors to ok her surgery so that she could get better and have the cancer removed. my sisters and i thought the new year would be hopeful and the end of this. but instead of telling us the truth from the beginning, they decided to sugarcoat everything and make it seem like she'd be cancer free in a year from now. she's going to always have cancer. the lump in her breast is just the only actual tumor that they can remove, but she will still have it in her other organs. why didn't they tell us the truth? you can't expect us not to know that she's not getting any better. and, i work in a pharmacy, so i fill her prescriptions. i know what certain drugs are used for. do they think i'm stupid, or that i just would pretend along with them that everythings ok? i just don't get it. parents are supposed to tell you the truth. especially when my sisters and i are all adults now. lying to us and hiding information isn't going to comfort us, it's just going to make us always question whether or not my parents are telling the truth in the future. and not only am i sad and upset about what my mother is going through, i'm also sad that my family won't tell me what's really happening to her. am i going to have to go to the doctors with her to find out the truth??? i shouldn't have to.
ok i'm done. i feel a little better. don't feel like anybody needs to respond to me or feel bad for me. i'm just using this as a way to talk about stuff to help me deal with it and feel better.
onewithall:
Jan 11, 2007
bloodied_up:
families suck, i don't feel like i HAVE to respond. but i want to. i've had a lot of bad family shit happen (cancer, heart attacks) it's hard, especaily when your parents aren't upfrount with you. i'm sorry that shit is going down. i hope you let your parents know how you felt about their keeping it from you. how did you find out?
Jan 16, 2007

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