tristesse

7 and 1/2 years and it's over. i still don't know if i've made a huge mistake. now that i'm here it feels different. i'm going to have to move the rest of my stuff out of his condo. i have to decide which pictures i want to keep, and which ones i want him to have. i can't believe i'm really doing this. it...
Read More

So i'm at home for the holidays. It's funny, because all i have here is family. no friends. just kevin's friends....and it took them years to be friendly towards me. I haven't seen any friends yet. i guess that just confirms what i've always thought. oh well. fuck this state.
i can't wait to go back to L.A. I've realized that i can actually make...
Read More

so i've really done a lot since i've been out here. i worked on a short film, and for the first time ever, got to see my name in the credits. i wish i could feel proud of it. i did makeup and hair for a photoshoot and got to work with a great photographer and a really cool actress. still, no sense of accomplishment....
Read More

i just arrived in my new home in L.A. i moved to Burbank, and so far i love it here. i'm going to school out here for 3 months, and i think i will continue to live here after school.....i'm a hairstylist and i'm going to MUD for make-up and hairstyling for photography. i start on wednesday, oct. 24th. i can't fucking wait. really...this is...
Read More

finally, i got what i've wanted forever. i've spent my life thinking a certain way, not being able to describe my problems with the right words. until i heard these lyrics. it's like i waited my whole life for someone to put together this phrase. it completely explains me.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o16/nikki736/newtatto001.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

i'm doing a fundraising walk for the TeamWalk for CancerCare at Lowell General Hospital, where my Mom is being treated. if you have a free minute, please check out my website link for more info.
and actually, i'm a dumbass so you'll have to copy and paste this address:

https://giving.lowellgeneral.org/NetCommunity/SSLPage.aspx?&pid=198&srcid=198&frdashid=3

nobody really reads this, but it's kinda a good way to talk about stuff that's bothering me. so i'm gonna bitch.

why does my family feel the need to lie to me? i'm 25 years old, and consider myself an adult now, so why can't they just tell me the truth? my mom has breast cancer. they told me everything was going to be ok....
Read More

i'm getting a new car. i guess that's what i get for having a integra gsr with leather seats and a vtec engine. nobody wanted to steal my car to drive it, they just stripped my car completely (hood, bumper, head lights, spoiler, seats, engine, wheels, shift knob, dashboard, all gone). now the assholes are going to make $8000 on my car parts, and my...
Read More

i woke up to go to school this morning to find out someone stole my fucking car!!!
i'm really sad. i can't afford a new car, but i don't really want my old car back.
the funny part is, i left the tank on empty last night....really empty, like you might be able to drive 5 miles before you run out of gas.