I survived childhood, despite neglect.
I survived adolescence, despite the Children's Aid Society.
I survived Crohn's Disease, Cancer, and an attempt to hang myself.
Now I'm attempting to live,
I've left my beautiful girlfriend of 18 years, in an attempt to figure out who I am alone. I've started working at a job that gives me meaning, as a peer worker in a harm reduction role. I'm trying therapy, addiction recovery groups, I'm trying desperately to shed the idea that there's something inherently wrong with me.
It seems like I'm always doing something rather than letting it be. It's the one thing I seem incapable of doing, nothing.
So I'll go to open mic poetry nights, spurt my vulnerability all over the audience, and hope for an essential change in how I view myself.
I'm not going to hold my breath, instead I'll try to breathe MORE.