tristanthepiston

The stars above could align this night,

Cast light across a lovers face,

Angels could sing and passion ignite,

But against these beautiful feelings my heart would fight,

Nobody stays, and nothing remains,

Except the salty stains of tears shed for a heart immune,

To beauty and truth.

Killing time instead of myself,

Searching for meaning in form and function,

Somehow it still eludes,

Is there a satisfaction in giving chase eternal?

Why the haste to improve myself endlessly?

Someday never comes,

Somehow it seems unjust,

Maybe I'll give in, and stop burning the candle at both ends,

Today is when maybe ends,

This is when I am enough.

I don't like me today,

Today is for bad decisions,

With intention,

Wilful self punishment,

Self indulgence melodrama to shatter the mirrors surface,

Anhedonia

Today my patience is thinner than my skin,

Yesterday my blood thickened,

Today is much like any other day,

Only I am less than I was

today I let darkness win,

Tomorrow I'll let the light back in.

I survived childhood, despite neglect.

I survived adolescence, despite the Children's Aid Society.

I survived Crohn's Disease, Cancer, and an attempt to hang myself.

Now I'm attempting to live,

I've left my beautiful girlfriend of 18 years, in an attempt to figure out who I am alone. I've started working at a job that gives me meaning, as a peer worker in a harm reduction...
Read More

Caught a glimpse behind the Veil it turned my heart to Stone, in our eyes there’s a mirror of love and Hate, in my hand theres a sword, in your hair there is Snakes, do we dance? Or do we die? Do we laugh or do we cry? Are we doomed to repeat this myth? Misogyny and toxic masculinity? Am I the villain? Are you...
Read More

Its a new year, yet I feel as if all the changes in the world are happening outside my personal existence. I've been through a trial by fire, AGAIN. That's nothing new. I was able to live with a clear focus and energy for a few months, but fell victim yet again, the monkey on my back is stubborn. I have always had issues with...
Read More

I have been spending time on a street situated directly between two long term homeless shelters and a substance use detox. It has an identity to the rest of the city, seen as a warehouse, a dumping ground for those seen as unworthy or undesirable by much of the status quo.

I was fooling myself into believing I didn't have judgement or a feeling of...
Read More

It's really difficult to keep the people around you emotionally safe AND deal with your own life, mourn several deaths, and go through Cancer treatment.

Culturally, Japanese Canadians have a way of showing a stoic and graceful outward appearance. We are taught to hide our pain, shame, rage, and fear. These are taboo, not for the public gaze.

I'm Yonsei, 4th generation, mixed with Italian,...
Read More