As night hits this tiny little village I find myself back in my appartment feeling thoroughly confuzzled. Fair to say it's been an intense weekend, and the few hours passed since hasn't made much to let my poor head wrap around it.
I've had the cold of the year, then got a visit from the Cadette and in some way found myself getting laid and then had a coffee with Jrgen yesterday and found out that he has a new girlfriend since November. It's all been so much at the same time and I don't know how I feel about any of it, but what still dazzles me the most of all is Ace. Always Ace.
I came early to the airport, feeling a bit lost about this whole Jrgen issue, and sat down to isolate myself with my computer and my ipod in an attempt to write about Something - Anything - Else to get some perspectives. I noticed at the corner of my eye how the waiting room was filling up as the rest of the cadettes were arriving. I knew Ace would be there too when the boarding began, but I had no hopes of getting more than a glimpse of him before we boarded and francly I was glad I had been there before him so that I wouldn't have to consider sitting down beside him and, as I knew I would do, decide against it and pass him that glance before I sat down alone somewhere else. It always made me feel so pathetic.
I had just put my computer away and picked up my new travel book, The Book Thief, as somebody fell down into the seat beside me.
It was him. Of course it was him.
"Hello," he said in his usual no-bullshit tone. "How are you doing?"
I told him I was doing fair enough, and returned the question.
"No," he said in a lower tone. "I'm not so well. It's been a short weekend."
I don't know if there was anything more to it, even though I got the feeling there was. He is hard to read and his stern surface can be hard to get a grip on. As I didn't feel like getting burned I never got to ask and the conversation soon drifted into other matters as we waited to board the plane. We ended up in the same seats in the bus out to the plane as well, still talking about the otracities of life and some such until we hit the plane and were separated.
I spent the flight reading my new book and reciting Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken to get my mind off of what had happened that afternoon. I was tired and along with the cold the emotional stress was starting to get to me. I was relieved when the plane touched down. I had no luggage to pick up and headed straight for the bus and caught a seat in the far front.
I hate watching people board buses when you have an empty seat next to you. Eye contact is the most dangerous thing in those situations since it makes people think that it is a good idea to sit down next to you. I had no intention of giving anybody that notion, and if nobody felt like sitting beside me I would gladly take the ride alone. Besides - and I admit that this was probably the main reason why I did as I did - I didn't want Ace to think I expected him to sit next to me just because we talked before.
Instead I pretended to be busy with my book and then scratching a mosquito bite on my wrist, which gave me a reason to bend down towards the floor.
I only saw the jeans that swung down beside me, but I hardly had to look up to know that it was him once again.
"Is it any good?" he asked, pointing at the book.
"This? Yeah, I think so. I haven't gotten very far," - I pointed at the book mark fastened some fifty pages into the book - ", but it is pretty good. It is a bit odd, of course, but that's what I like. I like them a bit odd, a bit twisted."
He picked up the book, looked at the backside, and then gave me an odd look.
"You are a very pequliar person."
I laughed.
"A lot of people say that." Then I added, "My mama says I'm special."
The ride back to the Village takes about ten minutes, and we were soon back at the school again. We got out, he went to get his backpack and I stopped to talk to Cat since rumors had it that she had gotten that Swine flu (and also, as it turned out, pneumonia). When I headed back to the houses I saw him in front of me, and to my astonishment he stopped and waited for me, and we walked the last twenty meters together.
That was the third time he came up to me that evening. First at the airport, then the bus and then the walk home. He could have easily headed off to talk to anybody else in the group, but he chose to sit down with me. He chose to talk to me. In the same time, he has such a stern facade. I know nothing of him, I can't read him.
I can' say if it was because he wanted to sit beside me, or if it was just because he thougth I looked lonely. It would break my heart if was all out of pity.
Right now I need a friend who wants to see me.
I've had the cold of the year, then got a visit from the Cadette and in some way found myself getting laid and then had a coffee with Jrgen yesterday and found out that he has a new girlfriend since November. It's all been so much at the same time and I don't know how I feel about any of it, but what still dazzles me the most of all is Ace. Always Ace.
I came early to the airport, feeling a bit lost about this whole Jrgen issue, and sat down to isolate myself with my computer and my ipod in an attempt to write about Something - Anything - Else to get some perspectives. I noticed at the corner of my eye how the waiting room was filling up as the rest of the cadettes were arriving. I knew Ace would be there too when the boarding began, but I had no hopes of getting more than a glimpse of him before we boarded and francly I was glad I had been there before him so that I wouldn't have to consider sitting down beside him and, as I knew I would do, decide against it and pass him that glance before I sat down alone somewhere else. It always made me feel so pathetic.
I had just put my computer away and picked up my new travel book, The Book Thief, as somebody fell down into the seat beside me.
It was him. Of course it was him.
"Hello," he said in his usual no-bullshit tone. "How are you doing?"
I told him I was doing fair enough, and returned the question.
"No," he said in a lower tone. "I'm not so well. It's been a short weekend."
I don't know if there was anything more to it, even though I got the feeling there was. He is hard to read and his stern surface can be hard to get a grip on. As I didn't feel like getting burned I never got to ask and the conversation soon drifted into other matters as we waited to board the plane. We ended up in the same seats in the bus out to the plane as well, still talking about the otracities of life and some such until we hit the plane and were separated.
I spent the flight reading my new book and reciting Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken to get my mind off of what had happened that afternoon. I was tired and along with the cold the emotional stress was starting to get to me. I was relieved when the plane touched down. I had no luggage to pick up and headed straight for the bus and caught a seat in the far front.
I hate watching people board buses when you have an empty seat next to you. Eye contact is the most dangerous thing in those situations since it makes people think that it is a good idea to sit down next to you. I had no intention of giving anybody that notion, and if nobody felt like sitting beside me I would gladly take the ride alone. Besides - and I admit that this was probably the main reason why I did as I did - I didn't want Ace to think I expected him to sit next to me just because we talked before.
Instead I pretended to be busy with my book and then scratching a mosquito bite on my wrist, which gave me a reason to bend down towards the floor.
I only saw the jeans that swung down beside me, but I hardly had to look up to know that it was him once again.
"Is it any good?" he asked, pointing at the book.
"This? Yeah, I think so. I haven't gotten very far," - I pointed at the book mark fastened some fifty pages into the book - ", but it is pretty good. It is a bit odd, of course, but that's what I like. I like them a bit odd, a bit twisted."
He picked up the book, looked at the backside, and then gave me an odd look.
"You are a very pequliar person."
I laughed.
"A lot of people say that." Then I added, "My mama says I'm special."
The ride back to the Village takes about ten minutes, and we were soon back at the school again. We got out, he went to get his backpack and I stopped to talk to Cat since rumors had it that she had gotten that Swine flu (and also, as it turned out, pneumonia). When I headed back to the houses I saw him in front of me, and to my astonishment he stopped and waited for me, and we walked the last twenty meters together.
That was the third time he came up to me that evening. First at the airport, then the bus and then the walk home. He could have easily headed off to talk to anybody else in the group, but he chose to sit down with me. He chose to talk to me. In the same time, he has such a stern facade. I know nothing of him, I can't read him.
I can' say if it was because he wanted to sit beside me, or if it was just because he thougth I looked lonely. It would break my heart if was all out of pity.
Right now I need a friend who wants to see me.