Being in Prague was good for me in many ways, however not including my budget, because it gave me perspectives on things. It reminded me of why I am not supposed to hang with Jessie more than three days in a row, of why I love my diet plan so much and also how much I need to get my life in order. It made me realize that however much I would miss the army and its perks, it would not be half as much as I would regret stealing another year from doing what I really want.
So now the decision is made. I spoke to the captain when I got home, and even though he seemed surprised when I told him I still got the impression that he respected my decision when I said I felt too doubtful of my course to take a spot for somebody else. The best thing about it is that now I can truly look forward to starting in Stockholm without having to worry about these decisions - which I am.
I have been looking at apartments all weekend, and I can't believe how great it feels to know that I will be going there in only a couple of weeks. Now that the decision has been made I can hardly wait to move, and my final two weeks in the army seems stretched out like an eternity in front of me. I will like it, and I will miss it, but I try not to think about that and focus on the joy of starting school again.
And I am looking forward to it. I want to move yesterday.
Whenever I go visit the people I am going to see in 8 days I always leave with new resolve and determination to move forward with life and closer to my goals, then I come home and two days later I am right back into my old ways. So this time I am going to make myself answer the question you posed to me, I am going to add that to the talk I always have with myself on the way home,
I hae been getting more resolve in life, but there is always something that I allow to hold me back, that is something where I need to go in and re-wire my brain, do something in there to get stuff the way it should be for me to achieve everything I know I can and in turn take over the world, because really, isn't that always the ultimate goal.