trismegistus

where are we at? the present is volatile brilliance and ugliness and everything in between. it appears that still i have a "need" for mood-altering substances to play off of. to contrast with the quotidian static. to break the fucking monotony. much like how i prefer music/art/comedy to play off of rather than to extract it raw from the void myself. i fear a totally blank canvas. i must learn to access the void. in art & in being. jesus. i like the name troika. again i think of the body as merely a vessel for the soul (thinking about eating and shitting as "routine maintenance of our vehicles") & feel temporary peace. the ephemerality of the body and its lust, like any bodily function, is worthless and unremarkable in itself. mere routine. gotta take a piss. gotta get off. and i am getting off just viddying that unborn limpkunst looming imminent on the plain & just a knockin at the threshold... and i refer not to our mini-fetus (tho' i'm hypervigilant of her debut, too) but rather to limpkunst. limpkunst, mang. creep music from beyonde time and ye spheres. i'll drive down to des moines to record, and andre is suggesting a side trip to a town somewhere in iowa (i like the sound of it already) that has a house turned into a museum where an unsolved axe murdering occurred. grist for the motherfucking mill. of course there's still the issue of which consumable to use to tap the alter universe. i'm going to put it out there right now for the shaman to conjure it well in advance. and if need be i will lower myself to drink demon drink, after all it's been the sine qua non of every DT atrocity yet. forsooth it's a holy sacrament like ganja to the rastas and peyote to the tribes. limpkunst for the soul. it's not like chicken soup for the soul but nasty as your corpse a-moulderin in the grave limpkunst. for your soul. for when she got in the car her unmistakable musk filled the length and breadth of my soul. and yea, it was foul. i wish i could have more compassion toward the mess. it's sad really. i must play the adult - because i sure the hell can't expect anyone else to do it. this is where we're at.

what else? i'm on six actifeds. which is nothing new.