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trip_fontaine

United Kingdom

Member Since 2004

Followers 39 Following 50

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Friday Sep 24, 2004

Sep 24, 2004
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*stream of conciousness*

Im tired , just really tired .. apparently im not as nice as I used to be .. im harsher . Thats probably true .. I feel worn down by everything , its so hard to find something good and positive in this life .. well it seems to be getting harder and harder anyway . Everybodys just out to make money money money , anything that can be exploited for financial gain is done so ... greed is slowly killing everything good and pure .

I question the person I am , I hate being the introverted socially inept person I am sometimes . I know your supposed to be comfortable in your own skin but for once i'd like to not be the guy who just sits there quietly . Im tired of the insecurities and fuck ups of the past dictating what I can and can't do in the present.

Im probably only being this honest as i've got a fair amount of alcohol in my system . But the feeling I feel more than anything is disatisfaction ..the feeling like im wanting to just move out of society ..away from all the bullshit and just be by myself.

Hey maybe im just lonely , I tell myself yeah im ok but some companionship would in truth make me very happy .. and I always found you can get through alot when you have somebody by your side.

Ah I don't care anymore im going to bed , I wonder how many entries similar to this i've written in past journal entries.. but it seems to be a recurring theme with him .

[Todays Playlist - Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds / The Boatmans Call]
kelland:
that's funny because last nihgt at a football game I had someone tell me that I was no longer as nice as I used to be. they were like, "I remember when you were so nice to everyone. Now you're really mean." it was... kind of saddening.

Nick Cave is Michael Hutchence's daughter's god father. biggrin
Sep 25, 2004

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