trinityy

i have been so lazy just copying my photography notes into a new notebook... my neighbor came over sunday to drop a plant off for my mom and as she was leaving she was saying how she missed when her and i would watch horror movies almost every night during the sumer and asked if i would like to do that again... so last night i went over and we watched a movie.. it was fun i realized i missed hanging out at her apartment. awhile ago when she cut my hair as i was sitting there i felt so uncomfortable didn't know what to talk about.. her and i used to be so close. we got in many fights and she told my mom EVERYTHING i didn't want her to know.. so i stopped talking to her that was a year or so ago. now we are rebuilding our friendship which is awesome b/c i miss it.

i have been in a upsetting mood i just don't want to be bothered by anyone. i have been avoiding EVERYONE. only time i talk to anyone is at work if i feel i have to. i just need time to myself.

all i do is sit outside and look up at the sky and wonder if i am actually alive. amazed by everything going on and not understanding anything to the fullest.
i locked myself in my room all day sunday and just watched tv. i was snapping at my mom and being a bitch to her and i didn't mean to be. my brother was bugging me to fix his computer and i wasn't in the mood to so i got annoyed and took it out on her when she asked me a simple question about going on my computer.. i apologized later but i felt i needed to do more just don't know what.. it seems apologizes are so overplayed and their should be something else done instead

well i am done writing b/c i feel i am writing too much of what.. nothing ...

much love to you all
xoxoxox
trin

i just got home from work and my mom was telling me that my grandfather is going in for surgery at the end of the month and that hes not doing to well and things aen't looking any better... he has two blocked arteris and another that is almost completely blocked.. i don't know what to do but to cry and wish i could do something to help..i feel so helpless .. i need to fix things somehow..

my friend lauren just IM'd me omg, its been 7 months since her and i have talked/hung out.. we just made plans to hang out her and her bf .. god i miss that girl.. well i am off to go get something to eat and conversate with mom