i can't stop thinking of him. he is in so much pain and i can't do anything. he is scared and he can only cry. he refuses to go toboston for any medical attention. he is scared of losing his life. he is scared to live alone. he is scard of so many things. i just wish i could take his pan away. his wife died a couple days before valentines day. the ceremony was held on valentines day. since then everything has been crumbling from underneath him. he doesn't deserve this. no one should deserve this. he cried last night and told me that he would just wish he could die now and not suffer. he said someone should bring him outside and shoot him with a shot gun. i just want to help my grandfather. i can't get this out of my head. i try and study and i can't do it.
i went to bobs last night after gting home from the hospital. chris and i smoked just about the whole night. it was actually a relaxing night. in teh next couple days i am gonna be extremly busy.
tomorrow i am cleaning my room and some stuff that is stored up in the attic, then i take the computer out of teh kitchen and put it in my brothers room. clean off the desk in the kitchen and setup moms laptop. work at 2 to 7, then i go to the hospital to see my grandfather.
thursday i am hanging out with jaime and do some stuff. most likely get arrested ...

ahh i am gonna go clean and keep myself busy

peace love and much happiness!!!!
trin