trinityy

i can't sleep just lay in bed and think about the world we live in and wonder why it is becoming so shitty why we have to live in such fear.

i try and figure out what i want to do with my life i can't do it i can't even think about tomorrow without freaking out. i wonder if the ppl that "care" about me, do they really "care" i think about calling soemone to talk but i put the phone down and lay back down.

tomorrow woohoo v-day .. i was suppose to go to my grandmothers funeral at 10-11am but mom informed me on some things tonight that made me rethink about it. i guess you could say i am being bitter and even though i love my grandfather i will not be attending. my brother and i were never allowed to call her gandma. she didn't consider my brother and i her family, we were just her husbands grandchildren. even though he is in pain and grieving the lost of his wife he was with for 27 yrs. i will just be vsiiting him tomorrow or saturday sometime. i can't go and say my "last goodbye" to someone at a funeral when they didn't even consider me family or give me the time of day. it hurts inside so much to hear this shit being said to me about one who i considered family and she didn't feel the same..

but i wil still be getting my tat tomorrow woohoo god i love ink!

well i am off to go outside and smoke a cig and try and get some sleep you all take care and have a lovely night my loves..