trinityy

only time they really cared is when they thought i was hurting myself. they didn't want to look bad they wanted to have everyone believe everything was so happ and we all loved one another. god forbid if we had issues like everyone else. oh and dad hates the fact the my brother and i are not like everyone else. oh no what is everyone gonna think now.. i never cared for pleasing him and being like every single "normal" numbskull out there. my real good frineds are the preppy type don't get me wrong i don't care how they dress we have so much in common and get along so great so why does it matter about the way one looks? besdies the media bullshit fuck society man all they do is pick apart a girl and tell her what to do how to look its so fucking annoying.
i have scars that hold so much meaning. they all tell a story. a fight none the less. a fight with myself. i tend to lose my self control and give in to it., or have someone do it for me.. does that make me more of a "freak" dad? does it disgust you even more dad? why is it that you have to throw it in my face that i make mom cry every night? i do "this" b/c its who i am.. fuck i already know i am the fuck up in the family so stop telling me. i don't honestly give a fuck anymore. just get off my back about who i am and i won't talk to you unless i absolutely have to .. oh and i will make sure its not in a public area, it willbe behind the walls don't you worry, dad. i wouldn't want them to know you have a freak as a daughter.

i feel so disgusting. i fel as if i am nothing, but a waste. blah i am gonna go lay down and most likely sleep..

yup i just lost the ball to my eyebrow ring and i am freaking out woohoo for it being lost