So I love my new apartment. Thank you so much to my mom, cousin, grandma, ohash, and DevilsReject for helping me move. What a fucking pain in the ass dude. However, I absolutely hate my across the street neighbors. I should have just let the one beat the other one into a coma tonight but no, I hate violence and I hate suffering so I couldn't just ignore it. I am friends with quite a few of the Columbus City PD so I called the cops once it got the the point where the one was being choked to death. Bless their little hearts they got there in about 20 seconds. The guy was absolutely obnoxious, kept resisting and mouthing off so I am pretty sure he is being arrested now. It has been 35minutes now and the fucker is still yelling though. If you can't handle your alcohol, don't fucking drink. If you can't handle your roommates, fork out the extra $ and get a damn one bedroom, come on ppl!!!
Anyways, I will throw in my rendition of the weekend since I am sure many of you already read the blogs of the 2 previously mentioned members. Yes, ohash does lead a double life (it is awesome) and yes, we were basically seperated at birth. I love her. Yes my mom did offer everyone alcohol and painkillers, she is fun but special. My cousin was nice enough to tape my drawer shut that contained my sex toys, condoms, and lubes before anyone got their hands on it to move it. She also used about half a roll of duct tape... nothing was coming outta that baby. We moved for 11.5 hrs and finished at 3:30 in the morning. Awesome. Oh well, it made the all night jokes of how douchebags "slip in and accidentally get on the roster" that much funnier.
Post Moving Day: We all went to Vanity and hungout with Meow, Holly, and TokyoDreams. TD is basically the cutest thing ever. We talked about Dark Crystal and nerdy things we recorded on VHS off the tv when we were little for the longest time. "YOU MAKE THE BABY ANGRY!" Oh yeah, and apparently her ass shaking ability verbally tells the guys to tip her. Quite the skill. Another attempt is just saying "NO, you want a lap dance" to the very intoxicated men who have to lean on you just to walk into the VIP room. Yes I did get a lap dance from an exceptionally talented stripper (Kyra) but I remembered to breath thank you very much haha! She did, however, leave a hickey... and I loved it. I gave her my last $40 even though it only cost $30 haha. Evidentally I am the biggest boner-kill ever... and I wondered why I don't get laid... Apparently it isn't sexy to call a guy your brother or father or make him feel inadequate by showing him a basically deformed guy on Guys Gone Wild. Oh, and remember, no one likes a liar, so when "an air conditioner leaks on your leg" just admit you pissed yourself or were a little too excited to see me.
Oh yeah, and if you ever go to a theater, watch Meow around large movie displays that are easily knocked over. Or at least have on running shoes. Ok, I think I have covered majority of the inside jokes.
My bday is Sunday. I am going home after work in the morning tomorrow to celebrate with the family for a couple days. Saturday I have to work in the morning then I am coming home and relaxing before the Killers concert
Good chance we will end up at Vanity again that night, who knows, but I will be out somewhere. Sunday night I plan on stopping by Ledo's for my friends and my free bday drinks but I will be indisposed most of Sunday and Monday. I have been keeping quiet b/c I don't want to jinx anything, but I met a really great guy named Jake and his bday is the day after mine so we are celebrating together... indoors on both days. Yes, he is my boyfriend now -giddyness, schoolgirl blushes, etc etc- and he is so sweet to me. I feel like it's too good to be true so I was afraid to say anything but maybe it is just that it's my 1st actual boyfriend since New Years Eve 2003 when my then boyfriend Jeff dumped me b/c and I quote:
my friend Amanda is hotter and he just can't see being with anyone who is unattractive. Plus, we had sex too soon, it's like Eminem says "How could I ever love you enough to trust you, we just met and I just fucked you"
Yes, the fucker actually quoted Eminem to me. Helllllloooooooooo tool bag. PS Amanda is fugly, he could have at least picked a hot friend, which is pretty much every other friend that I have.
Alright time to unpack and call the boy
Thank you for reading
Anyways, I will throw in my rendition of the weekend since I am sure many of you already read the blogs of the 2 previously mentioned members. Yes, ohash does lead a double life (it is awesome) and yes, we were basically seperated at birth. I love her. Yes my mom did offer everyone alcohol and painkillers, she is fun but special. My cousin was nice enough to tape my drawer shut that contained my sex toys, condoms, and lubes before anyone got their hands on it to move it. She also used about half a roll of duct tape... nothing was coming outta that baby. We moved for 11.5 hrs and finished at 3:30 in the morning. Awesome. Oh well, it made the all night jokes of how douchebags "slip in and accidentally get on the roster" that much funnier.
Post Moving Day: We all went to Vanity and hungout with Meow, Holly, and TokyoDreams. TD is basically the cutest thing ever. We talked about Dark Crystal and nerdy things we recorded on VHS off the tv when we were little for the longest time. "YOU MAKE THE BABY ANGRY!" Oh yeah, and apparently her ass shaking ability verbally tells the guys to tip her. Quite the skill. Another attempt is just saying "NO, you want a lap dance" to the very intoxicated men who have to lean on you just to walk into the VIP room. Yes I did get a lap dance from an exceptionally talented stripper (Kyra) but I remembered to breath thank you very much haha! She did, however, leave a hickey... and I loved it. I gave her my last $40 even though it only cost $30 haha. Evidentally I am the biggest boner-kill ever... and I wondered why I don't get laid... Apparently it isn't sexy to call a guy your brother or father or make him feel inadequate by showing him a basically deformed guy on Guys Gone Wild. Oh, and remember, no one likes a liar, so when "an air conditioner leaks on your leg" just admit you pissed yourself or were a little too excited to see me.
Oh yeah, and if you ever go to a theater, watch Meow around large movie displays that are easily knocked over. Or at least have on running shoes. Ok, I think I have covered majority of the inside jokes.My bday is Sunday. I am going home after work in the morning tomorrow to celebrate with the family for a couple days. Saturday I have to work in the morning then I am coming home and relaxing before the Killers concert
Good chance we will end up at Vanity again that night, who knows, but I will be out somewhere. Sunday night I plan on stopping by Ledo's for my friends and my free bday drinks but I will be indisposed most of Sunday and Monday. I have been keeping quiet b/c I don't want to jinx anything, but I met a really great guy named Jake and his bday is the day after mine so we are celebrating together... indoors on both days. Yes, he is my boyfriend now -giddyness, schoolgirl blushes, etc etc- and he is so sweet to me. I feel like it's too good to be true so I was afraid to say anything but maybe it is just that it's my 1st actual boyfriend since New Years Eve 2003 when my then boyfriend Jeff dumped me b/c and I quote:my friend Amanda is hotter and he just can't see being with anyone who is unattractive. Plus, we had sex too soon, it's like Eminem says "How could I ever love you enough to trust you, we just met and I just fucked you"
Yes, the fucker actually quoted Eminem to me. Helllllloooooooooo tool bag. PS Amanda is fugly, he could have at least picked a hot friend, which is pretty much every other friend that I have.
Alright time to unpack and call the boy
Thank you for reading VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
meow:
Nice seeing you birthday gal. Sorry I wasn't around much - we ended up being upstairs for 3 hours - and boy, was I hammered. Woah. Yeah. 
ohash:
I am DEFINATELY still up for puppies. Jon says if I bring one home, he's allowed to go buy a new TV. Haha. I'll be at VC between 4:45 and 5.