trevallion

My tendency to be surrounded by people who seem to need help far more than I do has put me in this really cynical and bitter mood. It's really hard for me to comfortably be me most of the time, especially when I have to worry about why others can't be themselves. Complain to me if you want because I'm going to complain to you too, but don't make me feel like I have to fix it for you. I'd love to talk to you if you really have something to say. Don't talk to me if you're only talking to yourself.

Sorry if that didn't make any sense.

Actually I'm not. I hate feeling like I have to explain myself to people.

I hate feeling like anything I want to accomplish is going to end disastrously.

At some point I missed the lecture on how to handle things normally. Or handle them at all. I don't really know.

I'm not crying out for help.

I just feel like I've spent a lot of time trying to avoid getting stuck into something I don't want to be doing, and now I'm stuck avoiding getting stuck into something I don't want to be doing. As a matter of fact, I've been avoiding getting stuck for so long that I don't even know what I want to be doing.

It's not that I really wanted to move here so much as this was the best place for me to settle while I sorted all of this out. I'm not happy living here.

It's boring. The people are predictable and backwards. There's no 7-11. No pretentious music snobs. People actually listen to the radio here.

A lot of people I know here talk and talk but not many of them are actually saying anything. It drives me nuts.

This is hard. I'm working on it.