trevallion

Adventures in Dumbassery

Late last night I accidentally impaled my foot on an exacto knife. It went in pretty deep but it stopped bleeding relatively quickly, which is expected seeing as how I have Wolverine healing powers. It sure hurts like hell though. Maybe I should have went to a doctor or something so I can get out of work tomorrow?

Back when I was 19 or so, first starting cooking real food for myself, I watched the food channel a lot. Once I saw that Emeril dude throw some butter in a hot pan and it instantly melted. For some reason I just thought that this was the coolest shit ever and I really wanted to try it, so that night I heated up the pan I was using to cook god knows what as high as it would go and tossed the butter in, expecting some fancy crackling and maybe some steam. Unfortunately, however, it was at that precise moment that I found out exactly how flammable butter is. It did that "boof" noise like you see in movies when someone's hair catches on fire, crackled a bit, and belched out a plume of nasty black smoke. I grabbed the pan frantically and ran around the kitchen in circles until one of my roommates threw the door open and yelled "OUTSIDE, PIP!" (Pip was my nickname back then. Don't ask, because I don't really know.) so I ran out into the breezeway and calmed down enough to put down the pan and fully appreciate the hilarity of the incident.

So remember this, folks: butter is very flammable.