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trekka

WA

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 1724 Following 1738

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Thursday Apr 05, 2012

Apr 5, 2012
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Back to basics...

Remember back in the day when I used to write nice little blogs about nothing?!?! I wanna do that today! smile If you missed my blog with updates on my life, you can scope it out here. But this blog will be mostly irrelevant. Haha!

Well, we need some music, first and foremost! And I think i'll post a song that is painfully relevant today:

This song just -speaks- to me today. LOL "Don't feel like picking up my phone! So leave a message at the tone. Cuz today I swear I'm not doin anything." smile

I actually taught myself to play this song on my trusty guitar this AM. smile I've been playing it all morning and singing non stop.


So, I think I mentioned that I'm off all my meds. It's been a few weeks now and for the most part I've been doing pretty goddamn good! But every now and then I have a rough time getting to sleep or I'll get anxious over something little and silly. For the most part I've been able to keep it under control, which is pretty rad! But....

Last night I could NOT sleep! frown Such a bummer. And now that I live at home with my dad, I can't just go smoke a bowl to make me sleepy in these cases and that's lame. When i got off work I totally smoked a bowl in the parking lot before I headed home and that helped me a bit. But it wore off before I was able to fall asleep and then I was screwed. i tossed and turned and played Alien Family on my phone until about 3 AM when I FINALLY crashed.

Then... I woke up at 7:30 this morning and was WIDE awake! *sigh* So annoying. Haha! So I got up, made a couple Eggos and watched Bad Girls Club because trash TV is mildly entertaining in the morning.

In stead of lazing around ALL morning, I actually got up and had a good workout with my balance ball and then picked up the guitar and started plucking away! Despite the whole not sleeping thing, I feel pretty damn good today!

In a little bit I'm meeting my mom for lunch and shopping, which will be fun! I haven't seen her in a while and I honestly really miss her. It's been hard because I have been pretty stressed out over my financial situation and trying to find a second job and it makes it hard for me to enjoy myself around my parents. it might sound weird but I only feel like I can relax around my parents when I have my life all together and am not so dependent on their help. But I think today I'm going to be able to relax with my mom because I miss her so much. smile

I've been talking to my mom about how desperately I want to make a family. She told me she had the -exact- same feelings when she was 23. She said she felt a switch just flip in her and she knew it was time to make me! And then, 9 months later, I happened! Haha! So she told me she's proud of me for at least holding off until I have a better financial situation and health insurance. But it's like after I talked to her about this, we have a different connection. I know my mom is anxious for me to get life worked out now that I'm ready for a mini me. smile Well, if I have to be patient, so does she!

Jesse and I have actually been talking about the possibility of a future family lately. he wants a little boy so bad! And so do I. LOL But Jesse is MUUUUUCH more patient than I am. So I'm taking his lead and trying desperately to learn to be PATIENT. As an anxious person, "patience" has never been my strong suit. But, now that I think i've found the right man, I think it's time for me to learn a little patience. Jesse is always telling me not to worry so much about the future because it narrows my view of the present. He is SO right.

And apparently, my fortune cookie the other night on our date night read his mind because this is what it said:

Crazy right?!

In other news...

I've been talking to the lovely miss Bradley a lot more lately. We kinda separated for a bit and didn't hang or talk at all but we've MISSED each other!!! So We've been catching up and stuff a lot lately and we're gonna get together next week so hopefully I'll have some good pics from that! smile It feels good to reconnect with friends sometimes!

I've hit a mini speed bump with the photo shoot this weekend. I might not be able to make it. frownfrownfrownfrown My dumb boss scheduled me to work during it! So I'm trying desperately to find someone to cover the shift for me so I can go do my thing! There's only ONE person not working that day and he hasn't returned my phone call. I talked with the photographer and she says they can't reschedule the shoot. I am sooooooo bummed. but I need to not let it effect me too much. It's not the end of the world, it'll just be a missed opportunity. And there are opportunities around every corner, I know this. I was just really looking forward to it. So keep your fingers crossed for me!!!! I hope I hope I hope....


Well i think it's about time for me to hop in the shower and get ready for lunch with mama! It feels good to be back and writing about nothing! Haha! hope I didn't bore you! Send me some lovinsssss! I NEED IT!

Remember when I used to end all my blogs like this?!!?!?! :

THE END

P.S. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram! I follow back! Username: zombie_kitty
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
pyromethious:
I didn't really like the song as much until I saw that video :-p
Apr 6, 2012
blackheartdown:
Yeah, kinda miss those old blogs, but like seeing your new happy, good news blogs.
I'd gladly trade some of your can't stay asleep for my can't get my ass out of bed. smile
Apr 7, 2012

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