trekka

I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again!

"..I'll be somebody different, I'll be better to you."
I have not been able to stop singing this song for the last couple days. Like literally. LOL I fell in love with it the first time I heard it and I instantly taught myself a little simple acoustic version of it on the guitar. But, I am not a practiced enough guitarist lately to sing AND play at the same time. I wish I could so I could make you a little video. lol Buuuuut I suck. I'm gonna make one of my guy friends learn it on the guitar so we can record it together. But this song pretty much sums up exactly how I feel right now about Brando. I know, I'm pathetic.


Have you ever made a super cool fort and then all of a sudden the pillows cave in and the sheet above you falls on top of you?

That's how I feel today. Right now. In this moment.

Some moments I feel like I want to cry, others I want to punch the shit out of a wall. Some moments I even feel like just giving up. Completely. But I know I can't. Or I'm just too chicken to pull the trigger. One of those.

Either way, I'm here to see another sunset. Which tonight, by the way, was rather underwhelming.

I want to vent everything that's going on right now with me in my world. I want to tell you about every last thing that is driving me to insanity! But, I'm not one for pity. And I realllllllllly don't like giving people the impression that I am in anyway looking for help from them financially or whatever. I'll figure it out. Somehow, some way, I'll get this.

In the spirit of venting though, here's a bulleted vent sesh:
-broken heart
-loneliness
-hate living at home
-broke
-owe too many people money
-not making enough at work
-irritated with friends
-irritated with boys
-parents driving me insane
-out of weed
-unmotivated
-wanting to shoot a new set w/ a staff photog but can't
-cold
-random crying fits and/or panic attacks
-feeling super not cute

Ok that's half my list. But I'll keep the rest to myself. FuuuuUUUUUUuuuuuuck

Pictures? K.
This morning I didn't want to leave this spot:

On my way to work this morning:

I've had this book for a couple weeks now and I haven't been able to motivate myself to start it.

the best listener in the world:

a gargoyle picking his nose:

Things in the garden:




seriouslyyyyyyy


religion...


I'm trying to smile! I promise!!! I genuinely am trying to see that goddamn light at the end of the tunnel because I HATE being a Debbie Downer. So hardcore. You guys know me and know I try to stay positive no matter what shit is thrown at me. But, like I said, my fort caved in on me and even if it is just sheets and pillows, it feels like anvils. Guess I should have worked out more. *knee slap*

Well, I'm off to do probably nothing. LOL Thanks for letting me kinda vent and thank you ALL for your amazingly sweet comments on my last blog. I feel really lucky to have you all in my corner, I just wish you were all a bit closer to me. I need hugs soooooooo bad.

The sun is gonna break through like this again soon, right?

Right.

Here's a booty for your troubles

Off to hide in my hood.