2011 keeps bringing changes...
Yes, indeed I changed my name. There are a million and one reasons why I wanted -nay- NEEDED to get rid of my deliciously peachy name.... My main reason is that I have evolved quite a bit since that name what chosen and I'm at a different place. I needed to reinvent!
The song I named myself for means a lot of different things to me. ... Moving on... "Trekking" on.... Anyways! Listen to the song above, if you'd like!
It's therapeutic for me.
So that's that!
Exciting news!!!
These two lovely gems are officially moving back in with meeeeeeee
I'm pretty jazzed about it. I missed living with him! And I mean... he's here all the time anyway. LOL So, it makes sense. But it's happy news! And we're looking at some bigger, nicer places, which may mean a longer commute to work for me. But as it stands, it only takes me 8 minutes to get to the office! I could probably manage another 15 minutes. HAHA! Found an awesome place with a fireplace and room for an office and whatnot. I am exciteddddd! My lease is up the end of April so by May I should be an a brand spankin new apartment with my whole happy family! YAAAAY!
For the last year I have been at this place with myself where I felt stuck. Stuck in my head, stuck financially, trapped in my shitty apartment all alone.. I started to panic about my future and what would happen. I always dreamt about packing up and moving to a new city for a fresh start. A new job, new friends, new apartment, new ME.
But somehow, without even trying, I evolved on my own! I didn't have to move to start fresh. I stuck around and dealt with each individual issue. And here I am, in January of the new year, with an amazing new(ish) job, new friends, the same boyfriend but with a new understanding, new pets, (new SG name, lol), looking at new apartments...
I am so pleased.
I still have a zillion goals for this year that I need to work on, but dammit if I'm not content! Anyways...
One minor problem right now...
Ok, if you read my blogs or know me, you know that I am incredibly OCD and bipolar. Suuuuuper neat combo, right? *eyeroll foreheadslap* Well, due to these super awesome disorders (I HATE the word "disorder". it makes me sound broken) I need to be on quite a bit of medication. Mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety, anti-depression, sedatives.... I mean, I have a fuckin grocery list when I go to the pharmacy. It's absurd really. It's gotten out of control. Well, ugh... OK!
If you have any type of mental disorder or condition, you know what a pain in the ass it is to find the RIGHT combination of medication. Well, when you have 2 of those conditions, the number of combinations to try is doubled. It gets frustrating to try med after med and have it not work or cause AWFUL side effects. Well, my doc and I had a pretty extensive conversation about all that. She expressed that she could admit me into the hospital to detox from all of my medication... This was like a couple months ago. I told her I would not go back to the hospital because I would have to be in the mental ward and after my first experience there, I could not face it again willingly. But her idea was for me to detox from ALL of my psych meds so that we could start from scratch. But I declined.
Well, little did she know, I thought that was a fabulous idea, I just was refusing to do it in a hospital. So over the last couple months, I have been slowly removing meds from my daily regimen and today.... I am no longer on any meds. Some of you may rejoice this! I... do.... NOT
When I am NOT on meds, I am a prisoner in my mind. It is awful. I can't sleep unless I smoke A LOT of green, my hands shake from the anxiety I'm experiencing, I have knots in my tummy 24/7 and all I can do is worry or get angry with moments of happiness laced in. It's a fucking bullshit roller coaster and not the fun kind. So, I need to email my doc today and see how quickly she can get me in so we can get me on a new routine of drugs before my brain explodes. HAHA!
I'm sure you guys think I'm a nut case but to be honest, we're all a little crazy in our own ways! Call me crazy! It's ok! I'm a proud crazy girl! I accept who I am. (But I'm ready to find new meds to not make me FEEL crazy. lol)
Alrighty then, ladies and gents! I'm off to blast some dub and get ready for work!
Yes, indeed I changed my name. There are a million and one reasons why I wanted -nay- NEEDED to get rid of my deliciously peachy name.... My main reason is that I have evolved quite a bit since that name what chosen and I'm at a different place. I needed to reinvent!
The song I named myself for means a lot of different things to me. ... Moving on... "Trekking" on.... Anyways! Listen to the song above, if you'd like!
It's therapeutic for me.So that's that!
Exciting news!!!
These two lovely gems are officially moving back in with meeeeeeee
I'm pretty jazzed about it. I missed living with him! And I mean... he's here all the time anyway. LOL So, it makes sense. But it's happy news! And we're looking at some bigger, nicer places, which may mean a longer commute to work for me. But as it stands, it only takes me 8 minutes to get to the office! I could probably manage another 15 minutes. HAHA! Found an awesome place with a fireplace and room for an office and whatnot. I am exciteddddd! My lease is up the end of April so by May I should be an a brand spankin new apartment with my whole happy family! YAAAAY!
For the last year I have been at this place with myself where I felt stuck. Stuck in my head, stuck financially, trapped in my shitty apartment all alone.. I started to panic about my future and what would happen. I always dreamt about packing up and moving to a new city for a fresh start. A new job, new friends, new apartment, new ME.
But somehow, without even trying, I evolved on my own! I didn't have to move to start fresh. I stuck around and dealt with each individual issue. And here I am, in January of the new year, with an amazing new(ish) job, new friends, the same boyfriend but with a new understanding, new pets, (new SG name, lol), looking at new apartments...
I am so pleased.
I still have a zillion goals for this year that I need to work on, but dammit if I'm not content! Anyways...
One minor problem right now...
Ok, if you read my blogs or know me, you know that I am incredibly OCD and bipolar. Suuuuuper neat combo, right? *eyeroll foreheadslap* Well, due to these super awesome disorders (I HATE the word "disorder". it makes me sound broken) I need to be on quite a bit of medication. Mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety, anti-depression, sedatives.... I mean, I have a fuckin grocery list when I go to the pharmacy. It's absurd really. It's gotten out of control. Well, ugh... OK!
If you have any type of mental disorder or condition, you know what a pain in the ass it is to find the RIGHT combination of medication. Well, when you have 2 of those conditions, the number of combinations to try is doubled. It gets frustrating to try med after med and have it not work or cause AWFUL side effects. Well, my doc and I had a pretty extensive conversation about all that. She expressed that she could admit me into the hospital to detox from all of my medication... This was like a couple months ago. I told her I would not go back to the hospital because I would have to be in the mental ward and after my first experience there, I could not face it again willingly. But her idea was for me to detox from ALL of my psych meds so that we could start from scratch. But I declined.
Well, little did she know, I thought that was a fabulous idea, I just was refusing to do it in a hospital.
So over the last couple months, I have been slowly removing meds from my daily regimen and today.... I am no longer on any meds. Some of you may rejoice this! I... do.... NOTWhen I am NOT on meds, I am a prisoner in my mind. It is awful. I can't sleep unless I smoke A LOT of green, my hands shake from the anxiety I'm experiencing, I have knots in my tummy 24/7 and all I can do is worry or get angry with moments of happiness laced in. It's a fucking bullshit roller coaster and not the fun kind. So, I need to email my doc today and see how quickly she can get me in so we can get me on a new routine of drugs before my brain explodes. HAHA!
I'm sure you guys think I'm a nut case but to be honest, we're all a little crazy in our own ways! Call me crazy! It's ok! I'm a proud crazy girl! I accept who I am.
(But I'm ready to find new meds to not make me FEEL crazy. lol)Alrighty then, ladies and gents! I'm off to blast some dub and get ready for work!
XOXOXOX
Trekka
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
"New name same IBT's" well yes, but you sure know how to constantly stage them a new!
You're a born entertainer. ...and you do entertain so good