trauma

Ok, so yesterday I go try to get myself off the current wireless phone plan I'm in (a family plan) to go on my own. It turns out some fucker got my social security number (for those who don't know what that is - the Social Security number is the primary form of ID from the federal government used if you're going to open a bank account, get a job, get a mortgage, whatever.), my home phone, and my name to open a wireless phone account. Obviously, I don't know who this dick licking asshole is, and I never lived in the city he lives in. So after I get all the information from the phone company, I go to the cops "Uh, sorry, we need something from the phone company themselves." I got the perpetrator's information here! Isn't that enough?? So I called the credit bureaus, my bank, my credit card, and the Federal Trade Commission to report the theft. Thankfully, they didn't touch my bank account or credit card.

I'd like to find this asshole and not only castrate him, but also cut off his dick and feed it to his dog.

Advice for the future: Keep your sensitive personal information close to you and don't share it unless it's necessary. He must have gotten it from my old job, they have some serious document handling issues.